It has been seven years since my mother had been laid to rest, after a prolong illness that had her riddled in tremendous pain. After my mother's death it has been seven years, I have been helplessly in a daze. I was unable to break free from the demons that held my mind captive. My mother wanted to die, because she had been living right with her God and because of the severe pain, she was experiencing; but there was something significantly spiritual about the number seven. My mother could not submit to death before I had attained my seventh birthday.
Mother was busy teaching me how to live a good live, how to be a good man, how to be a good husband, a good friend; how to be strong and fearless person, but most importantly how to honor YAH (God). Another big objective of my dying mother was to teach me how to deal with her death, when the inevitable came. She knew it would be in the near future but not before my seventh birthday. On the 5 Day of the month of November 1973, exactly twenty-two days after my seventh birthday, Mother took her rest with the hopes of one day being raised in the first resurrection to join her Lord Yah.
I dealt with my mother's death well, because I was prepared how to do so. However; Mother could not have seen so far into the future or if she did; she did not know how to prepare me to deal with her absence. Whilst I had all of the tools and I was able to hold it together at her death, it was her constant absence that got me, I had to adjust to life without my most central figure in my life.
I moved from a child who was unafraid of the dark that will get up out of his bed at 4:00 am, go down stairs to collect the Mangoes that fell from Girty's Mango tree, just to beat everyone else to it. Alternatively, a child who unafraid went to Nine Morning on his own; to a child who was afraid of the dark in the secure house he called home for all of his life up to that point.
It has been Seven years since I was walking around dazed, unable to comprehend any significant thing that was academic. I barely managed to pass when it was critical. I showed a flash of brilliance, here and there; which impressed my teachers and my classmates but I did not sustain the brilliance.
My siblings knew something was wrong and they did everything they could to help the drastic academic decline I experienced after my mother's death. However, my father knew that my new academic decline was resulted because of my mother's death. The same thing may happened to him also when his mother die; my father mother also die when he was young also. My father Hamilton understood me and he understood what I was going through.
I was now in form 2 or 3 at the Intermediate High School, AKA Timmy School, which was so named by the community because of the principal Mr. Timmy Richards. I was a part of a classic class. I has as classmates: Michael Nash: Michael’s father owned the business Green Thumb obliquely opposite the school. There was Dominick Ross, AKA the infamous “Nick Nick”; Nick father was a Trinidadian Gangsta, a member of the infamous Dole Trady Gang. There was Arnhim “Roach” Bascombe: the moneymen, the Grand Son of the famous Drummer turn Businessman Elias Roach. There was Keron Greaves - Keron was the real girls-man, Keron was very out going and brave, and all the girls loved him. There was Glenroy Robertson a discipline lad and good fellow, there was Ronald Boucher AKA Redy, there were Sean Yellow-man Dopwell from Paul's Avenue at that time part pretty boy, part ghetto, and there was Ashley Cupid.
Ashley Perry Ashley Cupid was quiet and kept to him-self. Ashley was dealing with some issues with his father's imprisonment and was somewhat shunned by some of his classmate, who made an effort to prevented me from befriending Ashley. I did not care about what they said, Ashley was a good kid, and we got along well, why should his father's misdeeds, affect my friendship with him. There were many other interesting characters, who were a part of that class; Such as Terrance Bynoe but we all hang together during this period.
Sean "Yellow-man" Dopwell came into the class one day all excited, he said Palmer I want to talk to you in private, I met him in the corridor, then he said, Palmer boy, there is a new girl that is the most beautiful girl that was transferred from the Emmanuel High School, and I know you will love her. Sean neglected to tell me; there were two new girls, transferred to the school. He had his eyes on Kathy, he knew it would be much easier for him, if one of his friends distracted her cousin Janet and I was the perfect man for the Job. May be both of us can win the heart of these two girls and go on double dates was Sean scheme.
He said Palmer come and let me show her to you. This girl will be the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I had Bernadette Glenda Joseph on my right a big girl with the most beautiful face you have ever seen, both of us was bosom buddies, there was Rhonda Gabriel to my left, a beautiful little girl with skin of gold, there was Camille Robertson who sits in front of me. An Israelite (Black) princess with long black woolly hair that was always fixed in a pony tails, that reached her back; and there was the princess; Miss Kirby the Commerce teacher. I said to Sean, how beautiful can this girl be. However, it's a small school I will see her sooner or later; however, Sooner or later was not good enough for Sean.
But I had my hands full trying to decide which of the four women named about I was going to marry, my life was complicated enough, I was not interested enough to leave my current interaction, to go and see this new girl. Every day; three and four times a day, I had Sean in my ears; Palmer there is a lot of guy’s moving in on the girl. You will miss out. You want to bet me; when she finds a boyfriend and you see her, you are going say only if I did know. “Palmer I am warning you, you will regret it”. Sean always says before he leaves; “you cannot say I did not tell you.”
I said to Sean, "if this girl is as beautiful as you say she is, I will not need you to show her to me, I will know her when I see her." After several weeks of my friend Sean nagging me about this girl, we were in place and he said Palmer there she is. I took a good look at the young lady and life went into slow motion just for a moment. Yes, Sean was correct; she was very beautiful, I immediately knew, if she was added to the equation, she would only bring more confusion to my already complex life. Glenda, Camille, Ronda and Miss Kirby we're all beautiful Vincentian women; and they were all as different from each other, as night is different from day and so was this new beauty.
I said to Sean, she is beautiful but I am not interested, in getting to know anyone new. We were all in form 3, different classes. At the beginning of the new term, we all had to repeat form 3, for one reason or the other. I repeated form three because I failed the final exam. Now Janet and I sit together on the instruction of the form teacher. To cut a long story short, we got the opportunity to know each other. Janet and I were in similar situations, she had lost her father at an early age and was struggling to come to terms with her father's sudden death, as a result, of her father's death; Janet schooling suffered; she was yet to overcome the trauma of losing a significant person in her life. However, Janet was doing much better academically than I was. It was not all-smooth sailing in our friendship and I began to realize; I had fallen in love with the beautiful young teenager that sat next to me.
I wanted Janet to know how I felt about her. I was willing to make a fool of and even embarrassing myself doing so. After all, when you look at the benefits they far outweighed the deficits. I came up with a plan. One morning I entered the class and I asked the class to give me their attention. I let them know I had something important I would like to share with the class. When I had the entire class’ attention, I told them of a dream I was supposed to have. In this dream, I was set to get married to Janet Reno, the ceremony was in full swing, I had proudly taken my vows; where I declared my undying love for her. However, when it was Janet's, turn to do the same she told the preacher: “I changed her mind!” She proceeded to left me at the altar. I told the class of how much I cried.
While I was relating the so-call dream, Janet sat still and embarrassed by all of the attention, she was getting, all eyes were upon her and the class had a kick out of the whole experience. At least we all had a good laugh. However, instead of getting closer to Janet, now she has stop speaking to me all together. I came up with and I tried all type of creative ways to regain her attention but nothing worked - nothing!
One day after School, Janet's cousin Kathy - Sean's love interest came to wait for her cousin; they got out of class early. It did not matter how early you get out of class, no one leaves the school premises until 1:15 PM; when the gate will be open by the principal himself: Mr. Timmy Richards. Kathy was looking for someone other than that her cousin Janet. Then Kathy looked at me, and then she asked, "Are you Allan Palmer". I said yes! Trying to understand what Janet's cousin wanted with me.
Immediately, I saw Janet grabbed her book bag, skipped over several chairs and desk that separate her from her cousin, flew passed me, put her younger cousin in a neck lock, cover her mouth and dragged her from in front of the class room door; where she stood trying to relay some information to me.
At first, I thought oops! I think Janet was complaining about me constantly nagging her. It seems like my big plans to win the beautiful teen's affection and attention had backfired. However, there was something about Kathy's expression, which made me realize otherwise, she was not upset and she was happy to know who I was.
I wanted to find out what Kathy had to say that Janet did not want me to know. Therefore, I made my way to where Janet was still wrestling with Kathy, desperately trying to prevent her now resisting cousin's from expressing herself. I intervened in the friendly family fight. I took Kathy away from the hold Janet had on her and I asked Kathy to finish her statement.
Kathy was eager to get the information off her chest, before Kathy began to speak Janet was now pleading with me not to believe anything she said. Palmer do not believe anything she said; "Kathy let us go June (Kathy's mother and Janet's guardian when Janet mother was at work) is probably wondering where we are." Janet declared in an effort to distract Kathy and change the conversation. Oooh! So you are the Palmer eah! Kathy began shaking her head in the affirmative, with a smugged smile on her face; I did not know what to make of that statement.
Before Kathy could continue Janet charged at her again, held her in another neck lock with her left hand and once again covered her mouth with her right hand; I heard muffled sound mixed with laughter coming from Kathy's mouth. I could tell Kathy was amused to see Janet mentally disheveled; she had never seen her like this before. I could tell the beautiful teen, was nervous about something. Whatever Kathy had to say, made Janet insecure, I did not know if it was good or bad; but I wanted to know.
I once again separated The struggling cousins, this time I did not release my hold on Janet, then I said to Kathy now let me hear what you were trying to say. It was then Kathy made a revelation I could not have believed. I was shocked at what I heard come out of Kathy's mouth. Kathy said, "Palmer, I cannot get any peace form Janet, as soon as we reach home all she talks about is Palmer; Palmer this, Palmer that, Palmer this, Palmer that, When we wake up in the morning, she has something to tell me about you; something she forgot to tell me the day before. As of late, Janet does not speak of anything else but you. I think she is in love with you.
Janet shouted do not believe her, Kathy rebutted why would I lie? I do not have any reason to lie. Janet had this awkward grin on her face she was unsure, how I was going to react to this news; after all, there was the possibility of she being rejected by me, now that her little precious secret is out.
No one at that age wants to experience rejection; we all were just trying to fit in. I stood their shocked by what I have just heard. When the reality of what Kathy had said registered on my consciousness, I wanted to do a cartwheel and a series of back-flips; but my heart was already doing back-flips in my chest, there is a rule, don't attempt a back-flip when your heart is currently doing one. I was a cool kid; I Just could not kick all of my coolness away.
Then Janet all embarrassed that her little secret was out, declared, Kathy June is probably wondering where we are, let us go and she began to walk to the gate to leave the school premises. Kathy throw me a rewarding smile, two quick nod off her head as if to say you are in business now; then she run off to catch up with Janet. I can see them talking as they leave the school compound, but what was being said I did not know.
The next day, I arrived at school early for the first time in a long time, looking sharper than I have ever been before, the teachers and students alike was surprised that I was not just barely beating the closing of the gate or I was locked out of the school compound and had to be let in to the school after assembly. That day I had a little pep in my step because I was walking on cloud 9 or was it cloud 10. I was in love, and the girl that I was in love with, was in love with me. It was the best day of my life. Sean was happy about the good news, now we can double date. Sean and Kathy - Janet and I that was Sean plans all along
As soon as, Janet saw me at school the following day, the first thing she said was, Palmer; I hope you do not believe what Kathy said yesterday. I asked Janet was Kathy lying, she say; "not really, but she was exaggerating, I speak about you sometimes; but not all the time as she said. She made it sound like you are all I talked about." "So what bad stuff you have been saying about me in my absence," I asked the beautiful blushing young lady who was seated in her assigned seat next to me. Janet answered: "I do not speak bad things about you." Then I asked her, "What nice things have you been saying about me?" Then Janet, defensively declared, "Allan Palmer, you are trying to put words in my mouth."
Before I realized it, I had that moment where we locked eyes and I said to Janet "Hay Janet you may not believe me, but I am truly love you." Janet blushed for a moment casting her eyes away from my gaze, then she regains her composure she looked back at me establishing eye contact then she declared: I love you too Allan Palmer. we smiled at each other than the French teacher the famous Horne Player Mr. Shakeen walked into the class; and with the loudest base voice you have ever heard, he looked at me and he said: Palmer; whey do you have that stupid look upon your face where is your French book!
This marked the beginning of my emotional turn around. I began to see things clearly now, after seven years of walking around in a daze, my mind was finally freed, I felt good about myself. Now my life had that similar feeling; I had not felt since before the death of my mother. Yah (GOD) used Janet Reno, as the catalyst that shook me out of a seven years’ daze. This was late November, it was exactly seven years from the time, I began to missed my mother and fell into that psychological coma.
Christmas was a round the corner. In my mind I though this Christmas was going to be the best Christmas ever; at the lease I was in love with the most beautiful girl in the world: Janet Reno. But I had another thing coming.
Stay tune for part 2. Next week My first Christmas in love: with Janet!
No comments:
Post a Comment