I was dating a beautiful Jamaican lady; whose pet name was Judy, My son's mother with whom I was in a serious long term relationship, wanted space. As far as I was concerned, that was a sign that she was not satisfied with the way in which our relationship was going and that was her way of politely saying I think we should end this relationship.
I was not satisfied with our relationship either, but a wise Judge once give me some fatherly counsel, he said, Mr. Palmer "Parenting is a big responsibility. What most people don't realize is when they have a child, it is no longer about me, it is all about making sacrifice for that child; and most people with children are not willing to do that."
Justice Mitchell’s advice on parenting sound like something my father: Hamilton Palmer said once and I took it to heart. I wanted to make sure I was not a part of the most people, the Judge spoke about. Hence the reason I refused to end the relationship with my first son Malique's mother. Malique was happy and that was Paramount. To add to this, Malique, being the child whom I love dearly; had signaled his unending love for me since he was in the womb by always acknowledging my presence. A love that reminded me of how awesomely special I was.
In my opinion, it was better that Malique's mother and I part, before our relationship relegated into something that is so toxic that he get the wrong impression of what a loving relationship was. So I give her the opportunity to end the relationship. It make a big difference to a person's self-esteem if they were the one to do the rejecting than to be rejected. I did that because I was thinking about my young son again. It did not matter to me who end the relationship but it could have destroyed this young lady. I saw Malique's mother in such a position before, I had a full understanding of how she dealt with such things.
In 2007, I went to Jamaica to visit my new girlfriend. For just under two weeks, I was having a ball. My new girlfriend and her family took good care of me. I discovered Judy and I had something in common. She lived in a rough neighborhood also. Judy lived in August Town, however unlike me, her community frightened her and she was afraid of living in the area. Every day, I will hear Judy and her cousin speaking of who got killed and who was responsible for the murder, etc. Judy was concerned that my outgoing fearless attitude was going to get me in trouble but it helped me to make friends very easy. Jamaican upon seeing me immediately knew I was not Jamaican. No matter where I went, they approached me and in full Jamaican twang they always say: “brothering you not Jamaican ah way yo from”. I say I am Vincy, upon hearing Vincy they always declared: St. Vincent pronouncing the word in three distinct syllables in the best English they knew.
Immediately, I was there friend. You know what they say Ghetto knows Ghetto. They often find out where I was going, get me into the he appropriate taxi, threatened the Taxi driver about getting me to my destination safe. Some of my Jamaican spontaneous friends will say stuff like: “Vincy na give um more than 20 dalla for the ride, and if he give you trouble come back and asked for Bongo man or whatever their name was we will deal with im”. Some of the Taxi Drivers will asked how you know those guys, I often say they are my brothering, I felt like a king. When excitedly I recounted the days experience with Judy; she was always concerned and afraid that I will get into trouble with the wrong set of people. Allan you have to be careful. While Judy was concerned for my safety, I was having a ball; feeling like a king.
Judy was a billing and coding clerk at the University of West Indies Hospital in Papine, Kingstown 7 Jamaica. She lived about 15 minutes’ walk from her work place. And I was staying at a hotel some ways off. By this time my holiday in Jamaica, was coming to an end and Judy had returned to work ending her vacation. I left the hotel and I went to Judy’s work place, to wait for, and to walk her home. On our way walking to August Town, we often stop into the Papine market, to look around, chat with the venders and get fresh fruits. We had just reached in the area of the Papine Market, when I admiringly looked over at my beautiful friend, I saw a strange look of terror, flashed across her face. I asked her if she was ok, she said yes then wanted to know why I asked that. Immediately I knew something was wrong. This was Judy Home Town, she knew this place better than I do, I had to follow her unconscious judgment.
I said to Judy, hold on a while, I want to take a good look at and observed the place. I said put your back to this wall and let us take in the scenery. Judy looked at me strange, her eyes said to me, what is he speaking about scenery? It’s just a street, with taxi and people hustling. I then said to her in firm commanding voice: "Judy just put your back again the wall and let's watch the scenery. As soon as Judy followed my instructions I saw the people about twenty feet ahead of us began to scramble to get out of the way, then I saw a man running for his life, with his right hand concealed and following close behind him was a group of about six men all outfitted with machete and gun. The man quickly jumped into a Taxi and instructed the Taxi driver to go.
The Taxi driver sensing the man in his car was armed reluctantly drove away and he drove with a sense of purpose. Some of the members of the group boarded other Taxi who also reluctantly gave chase. All this time Judy had written upon her face, the same terrified look that I had moments ago glimpse when it flashed across her face; now is was painted upon her face like a mask for all to see. When Judy saw the commotion right in front of us, she was about to run in the same manner everyone else's did. I held her hand and I said to her don't move.
After the commotion had died down and the danger had passed Judy looked at me even more terrified and declared Allan, You knew that was going to happen, I said well I knew something dangerous was going to happen but I did not know what. Then she asked how did you know? I said you told me, shocked and even more confused she say, I could not have tell you anything, because I did not know something was going to happen.
I tried to explain to my still terrified friend, that this is her community, and she knows everything about this community; but it is registered in your subconscious. She wanted to know why I wanted us with our backs against the wall when everyone was running. I told the confused young lady, I did not know what was happening, I just cannot pick up and run because everyone was running, then I asked her, what was the danger? Who was in danger? Where was the danger? Judy had no answer for the questions. I continued, with our backs against the wall, we eliminates our blind spot. Now we could see everything, there will be no surprises and no accidents, I can see everything and therefore, I am better able to protect you and myself if our safety became threatened.
Allan how is it you are still calm like nothing have happened; then she asked were you frighten by what just happened? I said nope! What Judy did not understand that I have witnessed worse events than what have played out in front of us many times even as a child. While we were walking Judy said I hope they don’t catch them, because if they do they will kill him and they will also kill the taxi driver to ensure they don’t leave any witness.
I said to her well it is in the Taxi Drivers interest and personal well-being to make sure they are not caught. After which we continued our walk to her home. Judy still shaken and I all excited with a big smile written all over my face, I have experience Jamaica’s Violence an unexpected and exhilarating experience it was.
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