True Story: Grabing a life from the jaws of death - Dwayne "Chucky Mitchell

I had returned to church in late 1985 after a life threatening injury, in early August of that same year. Injuries that caused the public to make the declaration, which turned into nation wide news: “Allan Palmer the Rollerskates man is dead! After I returned to church, I later became Baptized by Seventh Day Adventist Pastor: Steve Philips.

 I left the church when I was about, 9 or 10 years old; just after my mother's death. Before my mother's death, I loved going to church, I loved to listen to my mother read me Bible stories, I knew all of the Bible stories, and I would die for the gospel, at lease that was my mindset. I knew about the approaching time of trouble, the Mark of the beast and the prophecies, and it all made sense. After mother's death, I stop going to church, I stop praying, I stopped reading the Bible, but I always kept a sense of God, and I acted like he was always around.

Now, I was back in church and it was the carnival season. I decided to attend my first major church event, Carnival picknick at Warriacou beach. It was the first time I went to Warriacou beach and immeditely, the place spoke to me. This place was perfect, the layout of the beach, the way the wave so peacefully and gracefully rolled in from the ocean and on to the shore. There was something inviting about this beach. Why weren't there more people flocking to this beautiful and peaceful beach I asked myself.

from going into the water, the first thing I noticed about the beach was; there was a strong circular current, that sweeps from the East, and pulls West along the shore line; then the current pulled South out into the ocean. The current is nothing to be afraid of. The strange current is as a result, of the topography of the beach, the location of the reefs, and the way the waves broke in conjunction to the reef.

Very early into the fun on the beach, a young man got caught in the current and began to panic, he began to call for help. Everyone on the picknice began to panic; the shout went up; some one needs help! someone needs help! Being a very good and very strong swimmer; I swam to the immediate area of the fellow who was in distress, I noticed panic was written all over the young man's face; he stretched his hands to me, for me to help him.

We were out in the deep part of the beach. I said to the fellow, "calm down, you can swim, you don't need that type of help from me." I said to the youth "look at me, I am here with you, and nothing is happening to me. It is only the current," I told the guy to relax and then he realized we were in the same condition, he began to relax, I then told him to follow me. When he did, we made it back to the shore safely using the same current.

Sister May Mitchell, was also on the trip with her young grandson Dwayne. Sister Mitchell had a Baygon dinghy, which she may have won from T. Geedies Grant and company Ltd. T. Geedies Grant was a popular wholesale, imports and department store, in Kingstown. These plastic boats were a part of the insect killer: Baygon promotion, that was put on that summer. I remember well because, I tried to win one but I did not.

Sister Mitchell had the dinghy all inflated, but was not willing to risk her grandson's life by handing him over to anyone. When she saw my bravery, and my swimming ability, which was put on display by going into the current to assist the young men who were in distress; she asked me if I can take Dwayne out for a ride in the plastic, Baygon inflatable boat. Without a doubt, I did after all, what could happen? The sea was calm and nice, I understood the tide in the area, and she had a small boat. At least I didn't win one of the boats, but now I am getting the opportunity to enjoy the boat I wanted so bad.

Dwayne was still very small. I stayed close to the shore with the kid in his cool little boat, I pushed him around, as his grandmother and great grandmother: Brenata Soleyn and other females from the church, sat under one of the big amond trees that can be found sprinkled along the beach; enjoying the shade and a conversation. Even though Sister May was sitting with the other women chatting, her main focus was on her grand son in the water.

Every now and then I realized that the tide had pulled us out to far from the shore, when that happened, I mounted the dinghy, putting my chest upon the stern of the inflatable plastic boat, whilst my waist and legs were still in the water, I used my arms, like I was swimming, while kicking of my legs and feet in order to propell the boat in the direction, I wanted and get us back to the safety and comfort of the shore; Keeping in compliance with Sister Mitchell's instructions.

The sea was calm and nice, perfect for a picknick and for frolicking with the young child, in his cool plastic, boat. I was having so much fun, I did not notice there was a change in the tide. Duing the time the tide changed from low tide to high tide. The change of the tide is directed by the moon, and it occurrs ever six hours. I did not notice because I was having so much fun and I had safely swam in all type of tide before; even in seas that was pushed around by tropical storms force winds, in order to ride the big wave, on the large pieces of styrofoam we collected from the trash when Denabrago did repairs to their ice house.

While I was in the middle of having fun, ensuring Dwayne had a good time, once again the tide took us a little further out than that which Sister May was comfortable. I was about to make my way back to the shore. It was then I beheld a large wave coming toward and at us. The wave was large enough to double me up, along with the young child and the little boat. So I decided to go to the wave in order meet the wave, before it broke on us. As a result, I mounted the stern of the little boat, as I have been doing, to get us back to the safety of the shore. However, this time, I was paddled away from the shore and towards the wave, I reach the crest of the wave before it broke, and we ride over the wave smooth and nice. I was proud of myself and my efforts. Now it was time to make my way back into the safety of the shore with the young child.

When I looked up I saw another wave coming at us; this one was a bigger than the one I have just met and safely ride over. I had no choice but to do the same thing once again. As a result, I began to paddle in a swimming motion with both hands and feet. This wave was bigger and it started from further out in the sea than the first one did. I paddled hard, I didn't want to be caught in this wave, not because I was afraid of the wave but because of the precious life, I was given charge and custody over. I paddled hard and I just bearly managed to get over the wave safe and without incident.

By this time, the events had gotten the attention of the picknickers that had assembled on the beach, on the carnival Tuesday. I looked at the sure and I got further away from the safety of the sure. I can see Dwayne's grand mother and the other people looking on; they were all on their feet looking out at the sea. I knew they were looking at the confrontation that was being played out in the ocean before their very eyes. The confrontation between the sea, against myself, the child and small inflatable boat I had in my possession. I was convinced the sea was trying to embarrass me in public; at lease, I had won and save the embarrassment.

The real danger, the threat to the child's life, did not hit me as yet. Even at that time, I could not imagine that happening; it just never crossed my mind. However, I had just successfully road over two large waves, I was exhausted, now it was time to get to the safety of the shore and hand Dwayne over to the safety of his grandmother. Before I could have finished that thought, I could not believe what happened next.

I saw another and even bigger wave heading to us. By this time, I was exhausted, from all the swimming, frolicking with Dwayne, and the rush to ensure the two previous waves did not turn the boat over, etc.

Now I had a bigger problem that confronted me, I had no choice; I had to meet and ride this wave as I did the previous waves. I did not had the time to dismount the dingy, from when I met and road the first wave. So I began to paddle with an even greater level of urgency. I was exhausted, my lungs had been put to the test which climaxed with the safe ride over the second wave. But now I must confront my biggest challenge for the day. The monster of the wave that was heading to me; seems to be mockingly speaking to me. Denouncing the size and the efforts of the two previous waves, and dearing me in my exhaustion to meet, mount and smoothly ride over him in the same manner I did the two previous waves.

I dug deep down within me and I paddled with a sense of, and with an even greater urgency, both my arms and legs were working over time now, I was making good distance in quick time. I paddled harder, faster and stronger than I did the other times. Now I was almost there, I was just about to celebrate, the success of my efforts. The word I did it, had flashed acrossed my mind; When the little boat reach the crest or the peek of the wave. All this time, unaware of the danger, the little nieve passenger, was having the most fun, he have ever had in his life, up to that point.

It was close but not close enough to make it completely over the wave. I felt the little plastic boat going backwards, instinctively, I pulled myself further up upon the little boat, I encircled the littel boat with both of my arms, interlocking my fingers, while pressing Dwayne into my chest. I knew what to expect, because I have been doubled up by big waves many times before even as a child. It was going to be about six or seven second of under water bashing; of being turned inside out, collisions with the sea floor. After the wave had chewed its victims up, it always scornfully spats them out close to the shore line. It is not a bad experience; as a matter of fact, it is a nice rush to be doubled up.

The wave did just as I expected, and I held on to the dinghy like our life depended on it. The wave bashed us around within it, it took us to the sea floor; this caused the air in the inflatable dingy to pull the dinghy upwards in and effort to remind on the top of the water where it belong; while at the same time, the sea that had full control of the solid masses, kept us submerged. The two overpowering forces was to great for me to keep my hold onto the small inflatable boat; which resulted in the inflatable boat become separated from me, releasing Dwayne from my grasp in the process.

It was the first time, I panicked in the situation. I began to franticly search the seafloor with my hands for Dwayne. My eyes were open but, I was unable to see anything. I was blinded by the sand and other debris that was stired up by the pounding of the extremely large waves.

How am I going to explained Dwayne's death and possible dissapearance to Sister Mitchell, I asked myself, while I scour the Seafloor with my hand. I could not lived with myself, if I did not find this child and I surely cannot face Sister Mitchell without her grandson. What am going to tell her I asked myself, all the while, I was franticly search the Seafloor for the child I was entrusted with. It was after considering all these thoughts, that flooded my mind in a nanosecond. I made a very serious decision, I will not surface without the child. He is was my responsibility until I handed him back to his guardian in this case: his grandmother.

As a result, I stayed submerged, in search for the missing child and I was not going to surface without him. I searched with a level and a sense of urgency, but to no avail. And then my hand touched something that felt very soft, unlike the touch of a human body. I quickly grab at the object before the under water turbulence take it away from my grasp. I was not going to take any chances, I held onto the object pulled it towards me for a closer examination. This could have been anything, from a dead seasnake to a random object that was washed into the sea by the rain via one of the many gutters or streams that emptied into the sea. I was desperate, I pray to God it was the child, who was lost in the turbulence. But from my first touch I was convinced it was not, it was too mushy.

When I examined the object with both hands, I realized it was a small child, it could only be one child that was Dwayne. I pulled him close to my chest, then I quickly surfaced, having lost track of time because of exhaustion, fear, the deep thoughts, and a decision I hope I will never have to make again.

When I surfaced, I looked at the child and it was Dwayne. I heard Dwayne coughed, and a big bubble of snat run out of his nose, I knew he was alive. By this time everyone on the beach attention was fixed on me and the child that was lost in the turbulence.

While I was making my way out of the sea, as the breaking waves gently slap the back of my legs pushing me forward as if they knew I was exhausted and needed their help. I walked away with both of our life in tact. It was as if, the waves that slapped the back of my legs, just hard enough to pushing me forward was congratulating me for a job well done, in snatching life of this child from the jaws of death and for not giving up.

By this time SIster Mitchell was down close to the sea, I then handed the exhausted child back to his grandmother and I went relaxed and ate. While I looked at the deceptive beauty of the place; I noticed the sea that was raging with anger only a moment ago went back to a state of peace. This place has a beauty that enticingly speaks to me. To this date no one ever knew Dwayne was lost in the turbulence and accounted for, for a moment.

A few years later, my schoolmate, classmate and friend Bert Bailey and two of his colleagues, lost their life at that beach. I was not there, but I has a sneaking suspicious, they tried to render help to a person in distress in the same manner the individual in the beginning of this story wanted me to help him. This type of assistance is and will always be a recipe for disaster. It is always better to revive a man who was render unconscious by the sea than to try to save a conscious man in distress in the sea who fear drowning.

When I was a police officer, in St. Vincent and the Grenadines when I was on duty, and I was in that area going to and from my police duties, I often drive down that lonely road and visit with the sea and enjoy the serenity and beauty of that place. Never forgetting the deception that comes along with the beauty.

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A tree Called Mange

Hello, my name is Mang and this is my story. This is not a story great adventure, where the hero rescues the princess from grave danger and they run away together, get married and live happier ever after. However this is a simple story, which shows, how God works. If God can use a worthless thing like me to perform a small but significantly important act that positively changed my existence forever, he can also use you and change your live forever.

I was a sucker taken from a big and mighty tree, I was planted in an extremely fertile field, by Farmer John. I was watered every day when there was a dry spell, and I was fertilized on a regular basis. My life was good and I was happy. I was growing well and Farmer John had big plans for me when I mature. Ever-so-often, Farmer John will come around with his ax, he will look for and chop down the trees that were not growing as he expected them to, He did this to create more space for the other trees to strive and reach their maximum potential. The trees that were cut down before they mature, were used for fire wood, for cooking or to be burn in the fire place, on cold days to provide heat.

I knew, I was place on this earth to do something great, I will be important and I am destined for great things, but what exactly, I do not know. May be I will be an expensive piece of furniture in some rich person’s luxurious home or maybe I will hold books in a library. I have so much to look forward too.

 Everything was going wonderful, I was living up to expectation, Like the other trees, I was growing well; I was expanding in height and width. Farmer John was so please with my progress, that sometimes, he will come over to me and hit me three firm examining strokes with his open palm, as if he was testing how solid I was. He only do that to those of us who he was really expecting great things from.

 Then I realized, the other tree around me began to get bigger and taller than I was, and because they were taller than I was; I was not getting the sunlight I need to grow big and strong. We all know that trees cannot grow and produce without sunlight. The sun light was there, but I did not have access to it; because, before the sunlight reached me, it was blocked by the bigger taller trees. I knew that if I do not grow in width and height, I will be chopped down before I become fully mature, and if that happened, then my dreams of being important will be shattered. I will not be used for fire wood, immediately, because, I was big enough to make some unimportant piece of furniture. A piece of furniture that everyone ignores and take for granted.

 One day the farmer came over to where I was planted and he looked at me with sad, disappointing eyes, he sag his lips in reluctance, and although he did not say a word, I knew exactly what he was thinking. Farmer John really thought, I would have been one of his best trees in this upcoming harvest. This made me really sad, but I did not have any control over how I grow, Life is so unfair. After standing there looking at me for a while, Farmer John began to swing his ax and very soon, I was lying on the ground, detached from my root.

He had chopped me down; I had some value but not much. I was too big to make fire wood, for to use me as fire wood would be a waste but I was not big enough to be sold to the carpenter; so Farmer John threw me in the corner behind his wood shed. I was thrown behind the wood shed, because I was not valuable enough to be place in the wood shed; the wood shed was for the timber that were going to be sold to one of the many carpenter shops. I was sadden by what I become, I sat idle and useless, all my potential was lost. I will never be important, I will never be of value.

One day, Farmer John sold me to the inn keeper and I was made into a feeding tray for Barn Animals. I was so disappointed, because my existence took a turn for the worst. I was very unhappy in my given role, as a feeding tray, when the animals ate, they slobber their saliva all over me, I was often stepped upon and sat upon; I was kicked over so many times, I have lost count. They vomited on me, they urinated on me and they have even defecated on a few times. From all the rough treatment, one of my leg is about to fall off. Any more rough treatment my bad leg will soon fall of, and I will be unable to stand on one leg, unable to balance or hold anything. I will be useless. I would have been better off as fire wood, at least I would have kept someone worm on a cold night.

One day, a young couple came into the stable, there was no room in the inn, so the young couple was allowed to stay in the stable, in order to keep the couple out of the cold weather and away from bad men who may try to rob and kill them. The man gathered hay together, then he spread a blanket over the hay he had gather together, so his pregnant wife could be comfortable. It was clear that the man love his wife very much, and it showed in the he was very attentive to her and her needs. Every five minutes he can be heard saying, “Mary are you ok?”

I was deep in thought, feeling sorry for myself all overwhelmed by dejection. When I heard the high pitch voice of Mary shouted, Joseph come quickly, immediately the attentive husband came running to her side. To my surprise, the lady went into child’s birth and delivered the baby in the stable. This was the most exciting thing that have ever happened since I was put here.

The lady took me and with very delicate and kind hands she cleaned me. Ooo! How good it feel to be clean, I felt like new except for my old, weak, broken leg that may fall of at any time and for any given reason; especially, if something heavy was placed in me. Then Mary gentle and methodically lay clean dry hay in me, from the care the young mother took in selecting and placing the hay in me, I knew she was special, because she touch me with such love and tenderness, she made me feel very important, I knew I was being prepared for some important task. This task may not be important to the world, but it was very important to this young mother, and that was enough for me.

After she methodically spread the hay in me, she gentle spread a blanket over the hay making a nice soft cushion, after which, with the care that only a mother knows, she gentle laid the baby on the soft cushion in me. The child was much heavier than the hay and my weak, broken lag began to give way, but I had to hold it together. I could not let this new mother down, I could not make this baby fall. I cannot fail in the execution of such an important mission. It is much bigger and better than anything I have ever done and I may never get another opportunity like this again. I am so thankful for this opportunity. Who would have ever thought that I this old Manger would have become a baby’s bed? The little feeding tray was very happy. He got to hold a new born baby.

Then something happened, out of thin air, I saw some people I have never seen before, they just appeared. They were Angels, I did not know Angels exist, Mang said to himself, I thought they were like fairies, only imaginary beings; but they really exist. Mang was shocked, by the appearance of the angels but the little feeding tray was devastated by what the angels said. Are you kidding me! Said the feeding tray. Are you kidding me! He repeated the words again. His weak legs began to tremble with fear. Mang had just understand the gravity, of the assignment, he was called to perform. Am I really carrying the son God? The one of whom the prophets spoke about hundreds of years ago. Nooooooo! Mange said in disbelief. 

Then the shepherds came into the Stable and they looked at the baby with great amazement, as they whispered to each other, then they told a very interesting story; they spoke of the angels that appear to them while they were in the field, keeping watch over their flocks and told them that the Christ (the savior) was born. The angel knew they were looking for the savior that was foretold in the Holy Scriptures. They also told them to follow the star, so they did and the star led them to this stable, they wanted to see their Savior for themselves. 

 A few days later, three Kings came from distance land; the three Kings came into the stable dressed in their royal garb bearing gifts of Gold and other precious things. They spoke of the starts in the eastern skies which led them to the stable, and what was revealed to them from the study of the Holy Scripture, and the Prophecy; the Son of God was to be born in the city of David. They said they follow the star and they came to worship him. There were praises and adoration going up to heaven and to the child. I saw king fall onto their knees before me in worship of the little baby I was given the Godly honor and the privilege to hold.

Do you understand what is happening here? This baby that is sleeping peacefully in me is the son of God! The son of God is God. Now that I think of it. It all makes sense. It was God who made me, it was God who put that sense of importance within me, it was God who prevent me from growing into a mighty tree, It was God that caused me to be chopped down before I matured, it was God who cause me to be made into a feeding tray for animals, it was God who placed me in this stable. All the things I thought were bad things that happened to me, was really God preparing me for this awesome assignment. I was chosen by God out of billions of trees to bear his only son when he was born. All that I went through, God was preparing me to be the bearer of his only son and I will not fail him.

Always remember that God is preparing you to do something mighty for him, whether or not your assignment is recognized by the world, more importantly, it is appreciated by the Creator of the universe and everything that exist. God’s way of preparing us will make us perfect for the job he wants us to do. It does not matter what happens to me from here on in. I have been used by God in a simple but very important way.

True Story: Allan P and the Jewels and God V/S Venus John

Allan P and the Jewels was a hot, ground breaking Gospel Rap group from the Island of St. Vincent and the Grenadines, in the Caribbean that was made up of Nelcia “Ali” Primus, Comsy Joyette, Desiree Murphy and Allan Palmer. Allan Palmer was the leader of the group and the main performer as the name of the group suggest. Allan was trying to get the girls into the spot light, but they were quite happy playing the role they were playing and did not one to take on or share the lead position.

Although Ali was not Adventist, Adventist leadership especially, those from the Kingstown Seventh Day Adventist Church considered the group an Adventist group, and were not going to stop at nothing, until they had destroy the group. This was so because Desiree, Comsy and I were affiliated to the Adventist community and were members of the Kingstown Seventh Day Adventist Church.

Allan P & the Jewels were a featured acts in the Caribbean biggest gospel show “Gospel Spectacular”. This very popular regional gospel show was hosted by the Emeralds Gospel Band, and featured the Caribbean biggest Gospel acts; of which Allan P and the Jewels were ranked. We were new, we were edgy and we were good. Desiree, Ali, Comsy and Allan took the bulls by the horn and we did our thing.

Our message was solid but to the leadership of the Kingstown Seventh Day Adventist Church, that did not matter, they insisted that we dismantled, however; we held our ground. When we organized and held our concert all hell broke loose among the church leadership. It was a rush to persuade the youths and other church members not to support the concert.

There was a new convert, by the name of Venus John. Venus was readily accepted, in the big shot click, because she held an executive position at the nation's only, and state own AM radio station, The National Broadcasting Corporation 705 Radio. She was a mother of two teenagers, her daughter with whom I became very good friend, who also attended the Kingstown Seventh Day Adventist Church regularly, and her son who came to church, only when he was forced to. But they were all good kids. However, she was sent to infiltrate the church, to be used at the right time a goal which she accomplished.

Venus and I also had a good relationship. She was new and trying to find where she fitted in; and I wanted to help her facilitate the process. One Saturday after church, the “big shot click” got together and had their informal chat. I was outside just chatting and having fun with the other youths of the church as usual; cracking jokes, throwing a little heckle here and there; as we all recount old story and have a good laugh.

While I was outside, Venus John exited the church, a kind of hot; she came up to me and said, you still insisting on keeping this group and bringing the world into the church. I did not know where this hostility that Venus was showing me came from. Up to this point Venus and I had a good relationship. As a result a little back and forth between Venus and I ensued. Then Venus declared, "You see that recording you have at 705 Radio, that they normally play on the radio, It will disappear, I will get the rid of it. You will never hear it on the radio again.

What did that mean, was Venus going to use her office and her official access to destroy the recording the girls and I spend so much time to put together; so we can share with the St. Vincent and the Grenadines listeners what we were doing. If she did that amounted up to a crime. I just could not believe what I was hearing coming from the mouth of a public Servant.

This was a public declaration, of a blatant intent, to Misuse her office and destroy property belonging to a sate agency. Venus John was an executive at the National Broadcasting Corporation, the sole radio Station on the island, and she had access. But most importantly, there is nothing I could have done to stop her from doing what she declared, she was going to do. I did not have any control over her actions, As a result, I say to her, "Venus, you are the big shot, you have the power to do whatever you choose to and you could do whatever you choose to do."

I was hoping Venus did not take so drastic an action. After all, I have never offended her, and we always had a very good relationship. However, after Venus John made the threats I stop hearing the song on the Radio. I said to myself maybe Venus lived up to her threats and destroyed the tape with the song of Allan P and the Jewels.

There was nothing, I could have done so I moved on with my life. Accepting the fact, in this world there will be people, who are placed in position, to up lift their fellow men, but often misuse and abuse their post and do the direct opposite to their calling. Life went on, I forgot about Venus’ threats, I was not sure if she destroys the tape or not, I had no proof to say she did; however, the absence of the song being played on the radio suggested that she did. After Venus' threats to destroy the recording, I have never heard the song played on the radio again.

By this time the Church have forgotten about the group and I, and they had moved on. and then, I began to hear whispers in the church, and there were many angry faces that accompanied the whispers and there were the tears of Venus John that flowed freely along with the whispers. What had happened everyone asks. In church the women are always crying over a fail marriages, the infidelity of a husband, the arrest of a wayward child, etc. Could it be that Venus John’s husband was butting her, I asked myself. But the whispers only seem to get lower with my efforts to find out what was happening.

At first everything was kept hidden, the whispers were loud enough to know that something was wrong; but they were not loud enough to be understood, what was going on, and the legs of whispers did not walk into my circle. However, it was not too long that I got wind of what the whispers were all about. By this time the comess came into my directions and fell into my lap. My snooping around to get the scoop did not bear any dividend, however, later the whispers got loud enough for me to hear and understand what was going on; by this time it was now public knowledge.

I had already “thrown water” on Venus' threats, and moved on. I discovered, that the Government had made Venus' post at the National Broadcasting Corporation redundant, paid her, her severance and now she was out of a Job. Venus came to me and discussed this matter, on several occasions, I did not know why, however; I got the impression she wanted my sympathy and hoped that I would have wrote an article, which were normally published in the local News paper, to bring attention to her cause. However, the thought never crossed my mind.

While in discussion, Venus related to me her conviction that the Government was victimizing her, but when I asked why would they: she said she didn't know. her answer was strange, because everyone, who was ever victimized, always have a vivid picture of why they were and are being victimized. The reason may not be justified, or right but the reason is always known. it may even be a misunderstanding or a miscommunications or something but the reason is always known. Since Venus did not have or claimed to know the reason then; in my mind, maybe the lost of her Job was an act of Government cutting back on wasted spending.

However, it was ironic, the job and the post that give Venus John access to illegally destroyed the young group's recording, was ripped from right under her. Now she was not even allowed onto the property except to collect her belonging.

It was later revealed why Venus John's job was made redundant and that was because she, used her office too be continued - Joking!

True Story - Allan Palmer homosexual encounters! An attempt to exploit.

In October of 2018, I brought to your attention, via a true story, my narrow escape from becoming a victim of a well-known Pedophile, who have been raking havoc within the Kingstown area. His name was Mr. Millington. I almost become a victim, when I, at a tender age, left my parents home unsupervised by an adult and went to the St. Vincent and the Grenadines traditional morning festival: Nine Mornings.

Had it not been for the intervention of the fervent prayer of a dying mother; who went onto her knees and did not move from that posture, until I returned to the safety of her arms; along with an earlier confrontation by my father that put the predator in check and the grace of God, that aid me to escaped the dirty engagement of the pedophile. Had it not been for the combinations of the above; my life would have been forever different today, and so would have been all of my experiences.

I was four years, eleven months old, when I was enrolled and began school, as a student at the Kingstown Methodist School, My first day, my first week at school was a disaster; however, it started out quite well. I had my little school uniform, blue short-sleeve, button down shirt, and a karkie short pants, with a pee hope to aid unsupervised urinating without spill accident. I also had a nice little book bag, with one big line exercise book and one small exercise book; I also had a new "New Nelson West Indian Reader." The book featured Master Willie, Mother Hen and Percy the Chuck.

My mother had been speaking to me about school for a month or so. She excitedly said things like, “you are a big boy now; you will be going to school soon.” I liked the fact mother was happy when she expressed the thought, I was a big boy and if going to school meant, I was a big boy; which made mother happy, then I am in. At that age, my sisters Clair was in high School, and my other sisters Charmaine and Andrea were still in school, I could recalled they were students of the Kingstown Methodist School.

So I should have understood, what was required. But the reality was, I did not. My mother proudly dressed me in my uniform; the proud and dignified Mrs. Palmer took me to school, I clearly did not know that my mother was going to hand me over to some strange lady. then abandoned me in this strange environment.

Mother handed me over to Miss Velma Jackson, who put me to sit in the class with a big group of other children. Children I did not know, or care to know. Mother, looked at me with pride in her eyes, proud of my conduct, then she wave good bye to me. After which, Mother turned off and left. I honestly couldn't believe, my dear mother, who always told me she loved me, was going to abandoned me in this noisy building, with a strange woman I did not know and a group of children I did not care to know.

Well, not a totally strange woman, for I have seen Mother visiting, this women on her job and speak to her, some months before. Mother often took me to the school with her, and speak to Mrs. Jackson in order to get me accustom to the environment and the lady, who will have care and custody of me, upon enrollment. At least in the initial stages. However, I was always on the look out for my favorite sister Charmaine. I never ever got to see Charmaine because she was in a class on the upstairs. However, Andrea was in class next to the walkway and I always saw her. This was my mother's way of preparing me for my new environment.

How am going to get home, is she ever coming back for me. I totally forgot that I had two older sisters that attend the same school. I honestly do not remember what thoughts I had, but my mother was leaving me alone. I had never been left alone with anyone outside of my immediate family before. Now I am being handed over and was being left with a stranger.

This could not be good, my response was to cry, sorry not cry, I ball for my mother, I attempted to go in pursuit of my mother, but I was blocked by Miss Jackson my first teacher. This made matters worse. My mother came back, all heartbroken because, she has never heard me cried with such deep sorrow and desperation before.

Miss. Jackson who was an experience teacher, told my mother: go Mrs. Palmer, he will eventually stop crying. apparently, Miss. Jackson, had dealt with children like me, who had separation anxiety. This went on for a few days, with no relenting. Then my father suggested that my big brother Albert "Skipper" Palmer take me to school, at least, Albert was a teacher, he will know how to better deal with me, after a while I settled in and was ok.

I was still insecure about being away from home and my mother. One day, I went to the boy’s toilet to urinate, I saw Winston Knights, in the boys toilet at the filthy urinal urinating. I knew Winston because, he was the New addition to the Knights family. The Knights was our neighbor and he was their grandson. I was very good friends with Winston’s cousins, with whom I played together and had lots of fun every day.

When I walked into the toilet I saw Winston standing at the Urinal, We were in the same age group. The other people who were using the urinal with him, had left the urinal and the toilet yet he was still there; when I got into the toilet, he was still there, when I got to the urinal, he was still there, when I began to urinate and when I was finished he was still there.

I was not old enough neither was I experience enough to know that this behavior was not normal. Then Winston looked over at me and he said, would you like me to show you something, you have never seen before. I didn't know what he was speaking of. I wondered, what could Winston show me that I don't know or have never seen before. The reality was, at that stage, the level of my knowledge, my experience and at my age, there were many things I did not know and have never seen before. But both Winston and I were in the same age group, we were supposed to know just about the same things.

However, I told Winston yes. Immediately; Winston, without any apprehension, or hesitation and with the courage of an adult; walked over to me, took his hands, held my penis, in a manner that triggered an erection. I was shocked, and he was correct, at this stage of my life, I did not know that was possible. Up to this point in my life, I thought an erected penis was only possible, in the morning, when one awoke, and the penis loses its stiffness after urinating. Then Winston said to me, “have you ever seen that before?” I said no.

I was fascinated with this boy’s knowledge, how did he know this, I asked myself. This little kid had a new suggestions he said, let's touch penis together. I did not know what was supposed to happen, so I turned to face him and he took his penis and touch my penis. Then he asked, have you ever done that before I said no. I was unsure about all these new things but the way Winston was casual and his confidence, about what he was asking me to do; I got the impression: this was something, he did every day, I thought this was all normal behavior that people did ever day, but I did not know about it.

All this time, we we're still in the urinating position with our penis through the little pee hole in our pants. Then the kid had another suggestion; he said, pull down your pants and turn around, this suggestion was a stretch. So I said what you are going to do. It was then Winston boldly and casually, said, I am going to put my penis into your bottom. I was five years old, and I have never heard of this before. The five year old said those words so casually and boldly, like this was something he did all the time, something; I should have been doing all my life; the only thing was, I have never heard of this before.

Immediately, I knew this was something I did not want to do. I said to the disgusting five year old, I don't want to do that. I quickly slipped my penis back into my pants via the little pee-hole that was neatly cut into an infant male pants to help them with easy bathroom access; and I ran out of the toilet immediately. 

From that day, each time I had to use the bathroom, I first peeped into the bathroom, to see if Winston was in the toilet. If he was in the toilet, which he was most of the time, I urinated against the wall outside the bathroom. Because Winston’s seems to always be in the boys toilet, the wall outside the toilet became my new urinal.

Later that day; when I reached home, and my best friend came by to play, I told him what happened, he was just as naive as I was. So I asked him if he would like me to show him, he said yes. So I proceeded to show him. After I demonstrated the occurrence to my friend, sharing with him my new knowledge, it was time to move forward, with life. I have never shared this experience, with anyone but my childhood friend; to whom I demonstrated the events to.

In my life I have had two other older boys try to take homosexual advantage of me. Even before I was old enough to enter school, These were older, trusted family friend or family. Although, I was not sexually violated, the actions they took amount up to crimes and it burned a scar into my memory. I have never for one day forget these event. and every detail is clearly burnt on the chambers of my mind.

The two older, trusted boys, realize I was trusting and a child steep in naivety. one of them was my favorite cousin Henry "Five-O Palmer, who was much older than I was, and the other person was Steve Harry, the grandson of Rose Dounce, a family friend. However, their actions amounts up to a sexual assault; and I thank Yahweh who kept me from being buggered.

Now that I understand the seriousness of homosexuality, it would have been easier and more acceptable to me, for those guys to have murder me in cold blood. Although I was not buggered by any of these guys, or anyone for that fact, I hate these guys with a deadly passion. For they have, betrayed my trust in them, they betrayed my friendship and they have betrayed my family confidence. But what is worst they try to destroy my life; by expressed to me, the greatest degree of hate, one human can expressed to another.

What they tried to do to me, was to condemn me to eternal death. I thank and I praise Yah, for loving me so much that he protected and preserved me from the demons that possessed these people.