True Story - Betrayed by the Executive of the SVG Police Welfare Associations

When I became a police officer, I was told about and I was introduced to the St. Vincent and the Grenadines Police Force Welfare Association (the Police Union) while I was still in training school. I always showed an interest in the business of the association; because I knew, the Police Welfare Association (P.W.A), is a very important protective mechanism, for police officer, especially; the most junior of the institution. Unfortunately there was and still is, a lack of trust among the P.W.A members for the P.W.A executive. 

This was and may still be so, for the simple fact there was a history of the leading and most vocal members of the Executive, after elected sought to lookout for their personal interest; over the welfare of its members. The highly vocal members of the welfare executive, seems to receive sudden promotions; as a result, of their promotion; their enthusiasm waned. They became totally new people, with a loss of desire to work for or on behalf of the members of the PWA. The others were too afraid to take any actions against senior staff that had violated the rights of the members. 

I was being supervised by a man whom I considered a police Historian: Sgt. Adam Billingy AKA Bill. Every opportunity I get, I look for clarity about police events, I heard about, but never had the full scoop on. Sgt. Billingy had the full scoop on all event police. From the shooting of the puppy by then inspector Bascombe, to infamous police sick out; led by Mr. Blue. I was fascinated by the police sick out. I heard about the inside planning that led to the sickout, what went wrong, and how it could have been more effective; as well as the laws that were in place and the laws that was put into place to hold officers criminal liable for any such actions. I had my opinion. 

I studied all of the laws that related to police and police taking protest actions. I knew how to successfully execute such a protest action without being held criminal liable. By this time, a great number of police officer found me, each time they found themselves in trouble, with the police authority. I will give them sound counsel, which always resolved their case. Police officers came from all over to seek my counsel on all degree of work related matter. It is interested, this trend continued when I went to Bermuda. 

I was assigned to Justice Don Mitchell and was a regular on the political interactive radio programs. As a result, I decided to run for the top post in the Police Welfare Association. I was bubbling over with plans to enhance the working conditions, to force the hierarchy to create policy that will be of benefit to the welfare of the men. At the time St. Vincent and the Grenadines was going through a turbulent political period and I had a plan for that also. 

The law gives the time frame for the St. Vincent and the Grenadines Police Welfare Association to have general elections, the time frame had passed and there were no preparation to facilitate the preliminaries to the elections. I had made my intention known. The police bosses and the politicians on both sides were quite comfortable with the current chairman and since I had declared my intentions to run for the post, they were afraid that my popularity would have given me the victory; hence the reason for the delay. 

As a result, I wrote to the Deputy Commissioner of police Mr. William Harry, informing him of the law as it relates to the Welfare Association annual general meeting; I also informed him, if he did not put the mechanism in place, to ensure the election is held, I am going to take him to small claims court for damages for denying me of my lawful rights. Not because I want money but to embarrassed him. Soon after the Deputy Commissioner received my latter, he put the mechanism in place to facilitate the P.W.A elections, which includes the date for the elections. 

I told Justice Mitchell, of my intent to seek the post of chair of the P.W.A; he did not express his opinion on the matter. However; I contested and lost the chairmanship of the P.W.A but was elected secretary. When I broke the news of my defeat to Justice Mitchell, he give a victorious and audible yes! he shook his head approving the decision of the members not to elect me as Chairman of the St. Vincent and the Grenadines Police Welfare Association.

Then he said, Mr. Palmer I must tell you, I am happy you did not win the elections, let me tell you why he said. He told me a story and he called the names of some people, he was friends with in Anguilla, who took some unpopular acts against the government, and he was found guilty in the court of popular, political, opinion, of being the master mind behind the men’s actions. As a result; Justice Mitchell was black balled by the government. 

The Judge further said, Mr. Palmer knowing you, you are going to come up with, execute and stand by some very unpopular things and like what happened so many years ago, everyone is going to believe that I am the one who was giving you counsel. They will never believe me if I said the plans were all your ideas.

He paused for a while as he looked out at the sea. I wanted to ask you not to run for the post, but I did not want to get involved in discouraging you to service in whatever way you could. Well don’t take it too hard, there is always next year: he said with a justifiable smiled on his face. The officers were still coming to me for help, and I did my best in offering them the best help I knew how. 

By this time the St. Vincet and the Grenadines political impasse was in full motions. The local unions had joined with the political opposition with personal promises to the union leaders for their support and the support of their members. There was chaos in St. Vincent and the Grenadines, the opposition had promised to make the country ungovernable and he was succeeding in doing so. I was approached my Sgt. Charles who was later promoted to Commissioner of police by Ralph Gonsalves as well as lenford Brewster who was also later promoted to Assistance Commissioner of Police. Both men approached me on separate occasion. I honestly did not know that these two men were actually the opposition leader: Ralph Gonsalves Bitches. 

At the time Charles was a member of the PWA however, both men came to me and tried to entice me into pushing the P.W.A to joining the impasse. They said, Palmer, all of the other unions are on strike what we doing? I told both of them the same thing; I said; we are police officer, our sworn obligation is to protect the community and to uphold the law. What will happen if, the police join into the strike, who is going to protect the people who are striking? This will be total anarchy. We are police officers we are not politicians, it is our responsibility to protect the strikers to ensure they have a safe environment to exercise their lawful and democratic rights. 

I also took the time to share with them my plans. I said I am going to use this political deadlock to put the police at an advantage. I explained, I am in the process of preparing a document; then I am going to make arrangement to see the Prime Minister, and present to him the document, and asked him what he can do for us base on the critical needs of the constabulary. 

After which, I am going to make arrangement to see the Opposition leader, which will be easy because of his desperation; I am going to let him know what the government has offer and find out what he was going to do for the police and in what time frame after which, I will make a presentation to the general body and have them vote their conscience. Unfortunately I could not get executive support for this plan; the executive members of the Police Welfare Association was afraid to join me. An opportunity missed because of fear. 

One day, I met PC Lett at Central Police Station in Kingstown; PC Lett was on suspension from the St. Vincent and the Grenadines Police Force, after he was implicated in the shooting death of a civilian, while he was on duty at South Rivers with the Drug Squad (Narcotic department). Lett’s implications and suspension did not sit well with me. I was also hearing some conflicting stories. I knew PC Lett, before he became a police officer. I first met PC Lett, While, I was assigned at the Chateaubelair Police Station, Lett was a well-mannered, discipline teenager; who was just completing secondary schooling. At the time the young man was looking into possible careers choices. He wanted my opinion on becoming a police officer. 

Now the cool young man was suspended from his job on a criminal indictment and was awaiting a High Court trial for the homicide. I inquired about Letts Defense only to discover that the young suspended police officer did not have a lawyer because he could not afford the services of a lawyer. I knew the young man’s family and knew they were not in a position to afford a lawyer. I was shocked, extremely upset and I was heartbroken; for the ambitious young man. All he wanted was an opportunity to help his family and now even that was taken away from him. 

I thought for a while, Let was out on official duties when the incident occurred; he was the most junior of the party (Fresh out of Training School); his alleged actions was not malicious, vengeful or excessive force; I still did not believe that Lett was responsible for the man’s death. I am of the opinion, that people within that department, took advantage of the young constable inexperience and naivety and used him as a patsy, leaving him holding the ax handle: taking the blame for someone else’s actions. 

I knew lets conditions and knew his domestic condition, the young man just wanted to create a better life for himself and his family. He was literally alone in this fight. All of his colleagues were on the job and let was suspended. I was of the opinion that the Government should pay for this young man’s defense and I had quite a winning argument and if they don’t pay for his defense, I was going to take them to court to ensure that they did. 

As a result, I told Let, go out and find a lawyer of your choosing, tell them that I Allan H. Palmer of the Police Welfare Association give you permission to retain them to represent him in this matter. I was going to ensure the Government pay for PC lette’s defense. As a result I prepared a document with my argument and I sent the said letter to the Minister of National Security and copied it to the relevant authority. Needless to say, the Government paid for PC Lette’s defense and he was acquitted criminal charges. 

One day, I drove into the Central Police Station; I notice the entire PWA executive was standing around in the yard. In my ignorance of the gathering, I asked what was happening, because I did not know there was a meeting. I asked my friend and Course B (one who train to be police together) Daniel. He said, the Acting Commissioner William Harry invited the executive to a meeting in his office. I asked how could he invite the executive for a meeting in his office and I was not there. 

It was then I was told that they were specifically told not to inform me of the meeting. Apparently the then acting commissioner of police William Harry told the PWA executive, I am going to get them into trouble; he did not offer them any evidence of how I was going to get them in trouble, after which he insisted that they move a motion of no confidence against me and he insisted that the PWA voted on the motions of no confidence in his office and in his presence; which they all did. 

I asked my friend and Course B, and no one defended me, when I asked him if he voted he said, after everyone decided I went along with them and I also voted with them. The whole process was illegal, corrupt and may very well be criminal coercion. Here we have the chief law enforcer involved in criminally coercion his junior to break the law of the land. 

This was not the legal process of obtaining a vote of no confidence motion, and the involvement of the commissioner of police who used his office coerced his juniors were contrary to the law. It was stink and it was illegal. However, sometime later, certain people were walking around proudly displaying their promotion. Their promotion was the price of: Blood; the reward of betraying the honest and hardworking men and women of the Royal St. Vincent and the Grenadines Police Force. 

I choose not to fight the decision of the other executive members, because after what they did, the weakness they displayed and the betrayal; I did not care to be their friend or to work with them in the capacity. Some time after, I remembered some advise my father give me. He said, no matter what you do. Don't every become a trade union leader. He said they will betray you. 

Then my father Hamilton Palmer told me a story to support and justified his counsel. Unfortunately, here I was, having forgot my father's counsel; only to be bitten in the same way he had predicted so many years before his death.

True Story - Allan Palmer first day in Greggs as a Police Officer

It was Friday morning, I was getting ready to leave work, on a day off, when I was informed that I will be transfer to the Biabou Police Station, the transfer is effective the following day. I always looked forward to being transfer to a new police station, and or a new police district. A transfer was never a problem for me, ever since my first transfer to Barrouallie Police Station some eight years earlier. Sgt. Billingy was my Supervisor, at the time and he saw my apprehension about the uncertainty. 

Sgt. Billingy had a knowledge of who were working at all of the police station, and he knew them by names. As a result, he told me "do not ever be afraid of a transfer; always look forward to meeting new people  to work in a new community." He continued "I know the fellows who are working at Barrouallie and they are all nice people, good fellers to work with." He called some of the names to put me at ease. He jokingly said, there is a beautiful woman police at Barrouallie, her name is Ms. Clark, you will like Ms. Clark" Sgt. Billingy said, pause for a while as a big optimistic smile erupted on his face. Then he continued: "the next time I see you, you may be married" then he had a good laugh in a typical Billingy carefree style. 

Sgt. Bill's encouragement was what I needed at that juncture. I enjoyed Barrouallie so much I always looked forward to transfers. It was Saturday Morning and I reported to Biabou Police Station; Sgt. Ashley Francis was the None Commission Officer (NCO) responsible for the station and the personnel for the weekend. I knew Sgt. Francis from my assignment at the Transport Division a subsidiary department of the Traffic Branch. 

The morning at the Biabou Police Station, got off to a slow start. Sgt. Francis was working station officer, we were all hanging around the station doing nothing, then Sgt. Francis suggested that I go out and make a patrol to learn the district, in his own words "come Monday we have a lot of work to do." As a result, I went on a patrol, I knew the place, but I was not familiar with the boundaries of the villages and the official names of the streets. As a result, I made a blind drive through the district. 

It is important to note, that the rural areas in St. Vincent and the Grenadines did not have posted street names, or indicators of entering and exiting a parish, a town, or a village. A new police officer or a tourist going about on the island, will have to find their way around base on major landmarks. 

I drove through Greggs Village. Unfortunately, my knowledge of Greggs was more theatrical than experiential. I knew Greggs but I did not know much about Greggs, it was one of the stop on my father's Sunday expeditions on the Windward Course. We made one stopped at his friend: Mr. Daniel’s Shop in Greggs and another stop at Morris Shop in Lowmans Windward.

A lot of people do not know that Greggs, Lauders and Lomans Windward are where the greatest remnant of the Garifuna people in S.V.G resides. After the Carib war, and after Chief Chatoyer was alleged to have been killed, rather then captivity or suicide they escape to the dense mountain ridge on the island where they still life today. It is important to note, it is not safe for men from other part of the island, for whatever reason, to move into and take up residence in these communities; however, it is quiet acceptable from the men to bring in their woman.

In addition to this, my other experience was related to me by friend; from my neighborhood. Once Nola Debique/John, organized a youth soccer team from Rose Place (Bottom Town) to travel to Greggs to participate in a friendly soccer game. This even took place on a Saturday morning, I was going on the trip; however, I went to church instead. I was anxious to learn about the trip. 

I was informed that the team from Bottom Town was beating the Greggs team bad; the members of the community got upset and actually got involved in the game, as a result, of the community involvement, the members of the Bottom Town team had to run for their life, in order to get away from an angry mob that began to chase and throw stone at them. Boy was I happy I was not a part of the expedition. The team was made to run from the Greggs playing field to Lowmans Bridge where the Driver of the van went to have a drink at a shop. 

However, today, I was a police in the Greggs Community, I was in the process of driving through the village, and as I drove each time I saw an elder in the community, I reduced the speed of the vehicle extend a friendly good morning to them; they often reply with a friendly good morning in return. I was making connections and establishing myself with the people. 

Each time I went into a new community, I choose senior citizen and young children to befriend. This was so because most of the time a senior is going through a period of insecurity and could always benefit from being friends with a police officer; they are more likely to reciprocate your friendship. The other members of the community I befriend are the children, and I do so because they are curious, they are not tainted with the stereotypical mentality about police officer. They also are quick to reciprocate your friendship. When the other members of the community see you interacting with the old people and playing with children, they see as being ok friendly person and they tend to trust you and consider you to be a cool police officer. 

I was driving north along the Greggs Main Road, when I reached near the Seventh Day Adventist Church; I came upon four senior citizens standing on the left side or the western side of the road; in front of a house having a friendly conversation. There was one woman sitting on what look like a bench in front of her door; from her position, one can conclude that she was the lawful occupant of that house. The door of the house was about three and a half feet above the Greggs Pubic Road. There was a wall stairway, which consisted of about four steps, which connected the house to the public road. 

One of women was standing on the second round of the four steps, which made up the stairsway; while the other two women stood on the public road in front of the steps of the single story house. I came to a stop where the women were speaking and I said good morning ladies, how are you all doing today. The lady in turn told me good morning and declared that they were doing find. We had a short conversation, where I introduced myself as a new police to the district, then I continue my patrol. 

I drove north to the end of the main road, and discovered it was the end of the road - a dead end; as a result, I turned the marked police vehicle around and went back from whence I came traveling south along the Gregges Public Road. When I arrived in the approximate vicinity, where I saw and spoke to the four elderly women who were still engaged in conversation; I notice three young men in their early to mid-twenties walking north, opposite of my travels on the Greggs Public Road. They were smoking a very fat marijuana cigarette openly. They blew the smoke in the air with no regards or respect for the senior citizen, who were standing on the side of the road enjoying a friendly Saturday morning conversation. 

The fellers saw the police vehicle coming towards them, but they did not alter their behaviors. I slowed down the marked police vehicle; I hanged my right hand and my head out of the vehicle, in order to speak to the youths. I am now in the immediate vicinity of the elderly women; I asked the young men, Is that legal? I was speaking of the Marijuana Cigarette they were passing around between the three of them as they walked along the street, freely blowing their smoke into the fresh Greggs mountain air; they refused to modify their behavior, even with the approaching mark police vehicle. 

I am not one to arrest a person for smoking a Marijuana joint; if I were to, I would have been a hypocrite. I am from Bottom Town, and frequented Paul's Avenue (The Slum) I have been around Marijuana smoking most of my life, a large number of my friends smoked, one of my best friend and mentor’s; Jah-I smoked, even though he have never smoked in my presence, since I became a police officer; however he would put out his spliff, when I was present. Let us not forget the charge for Marijuana is not smoking, but simply having marijuana in your possession. 

I was about to drive off leaving the young men to go on their way. When I heard the one of the young men said: “officer; if you know what is good for you, you will go on your way”. I realized to let that remarks pass will not be good for my credibility policing that community. After all, I am a police officer - I enforce the law, I am from Bottom Town - grow up among the toughest; Love-I, Jah-I, nor Ming would not have back down from such a challenge; I am the son of Hamilton Palmer - I have seen my father fight numerous times; he was never afraid and I am the little brother of The Nazi: my Karate teacher - Nazi had prepared me for moments like these; therefore, I was ready.

All of these men always find a way to overcome their adversaries when the odds are against them. I am their student; I am the student of the best. I was not afraid of these guys. I have fought against multiple opponent before and walked away standing tall. However, this was a different situation. Nevertheless, I was not going to show fear not even under the circumstances. I got out of the police vehicle, unarmed, and without the police issued baton. 

By this time, One of the residence who saw the confrontation, and knew what the young men were like; immediately placed to the Biabou Police Station, informing the Sgt. of the current situation. There was only one problem, the Biabou Police Station had one vehicle and I had the vehicle. I totally forgot the senior citizen were present and looked my focus on dealing with the debacle I was now involved in. I walked over to the three young men; who proceeded to surround me, as if to launch an attacked from three different angle simultaneously. I did not have a plan, when I got out of the vehicle, but I knew I could not be allow the brazen remarks to go unchecked. 

I decided to focused my attention on the person with the Marijuana Cigarette, I impulsively stretched out my hand and I held on to the young man with the Marijuana cigarette in his hand. I held him by the front collar of the shirt he was wearing, and with one hand slightly bend at the elbow; I managed to lift the young man off of his feet. I know without a doubt that I was not strong enough, to lift a small boy off his feet, with my left out-stretched hand, being right handed; much less a fully grown young man. The young men were dumbfounded at the supernatural  (Devin Strength - Devin intervention) display of strength, and so was I. 

The fellow with the Marijuana cigarette, quickly pass the cigarette to the person on his left my right. I quickly release the hold I had on that young man, freeing up my left hand; after which, I turn my attention to the guy with the Marijuana cigarette; and with lightning fast speed and instinct; with my elbow turned up, I took my right hand, placing my thumb on the back of his hands between his knuckles and his wrist, with my four fingers on the palm of his hand; then I bring my hand back to the normal position, securing the young man in a painful wrist lock. I then take my left hand and I took the cigarette from his hand. 

After which, I slowly release the hold on the wristlock. I then proceeded to unfold the Marijuana Cigarette, I took my finger swept the content of the wrapping paper into the nearby drain. After which, I proceed to give the young men a little talk about respect. Not respect for me, or for the police but respect for the senior citizens, the contribution they have made to the development of the country and the community. I also point to my new friends (the four Seniors) while I spoke. 

When I got back to the station, the Sergeant was waiting for me, He said: "Palmer what happened in Greggs, people called me tell me I must come up Greggs now; because the police in trouble. I could not come because we did not have any transport;" he paused for a while looking at me with a nervous smile on his face, then he continued; I called the Mespo Police Station for the transport. then the people call back and say the problem resolve. Later I discovered Sgt. Francis had Greggs cornered. He had developed some very crucial relationship in that community that kept him up to date on activities as the happened in Greegs. "So Palmer what happened in Greggs?" he asked again bubbling over with curiosity. I said nothing really, just a little altercation with some youths; which I dealt with.

A few weeks later, on my return to work from weekend off; I noticed there were three or four guys in custody. I assumed my colleagues had an extremely busy weekend. On inquiring about what had happened and why the young men were in custody; On of my colleagues said to me: "Palmer  your "course B" (people who train together to become police officers), heard of what you did in Greggs, he tried to do the same thing, and the guys beat him up bad."

Apparently one of the police officer with whom I was trained; a residence of Greggs, heard of my encounter with the three fellers with the Marijuana cigarette, and how I dealt with the matter. As a result, he tried to make a name for himself in the community and in doing so; he try to arrest someone in Greggs for smoking Marijuana and the  guys took liberty and they beat that officer up, to the point where he had to go on sick leave. Special Service Unit (SSU) officer had to be called out, to take control of the incident and arrest the assailants.

All in all, the people of Greggs accepted me as a part of the community. I got invites to hang out with them, to house parties, weddings, Church; outings etc. I respected and spoke to everyone I met it mattered not if I had opportunity to arrest them before and they did the same to me. I felt like a part of the community and I hated leaving.

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True Story - -Desmond Ma Cauley: A good & honest teen & friend

Desmond Mc Cauley, also known as "Chow Ming" grew up in Bottom Town which is formally known Rose Place. I never knew Desmond's parents, but I heard stories about his father, who had die when Desmond was still a young child. Fowl play was suspected but it was never proven. I am not sure how old Desmond was when his father die, if or how well he knew his father. However, Desmond never spoke of him and I never asked.

I am not sure at what stage Desmond's mother migrated to the United States of America, to seek out a better life for him. However, by this time Desmond was about fourteen years old; he was forced to grow up, basically on his own. Of course his mother sent the expected barrel and subsistence to his Grandmother, with whom he lives, but socially, Desmond took care for himself; he dealt with his own problems.

Although Desmond did not have the daily hands on support and consistent intervention of his parents, On hind sight, Chow Ming was one of the most discipline youth, I have ever met. Desmond was always in the mix, yet, I have never seen him smoked; not even when Rasta was in and smoking weed was the thing to do. When all of his peers were liberally using obscene (dirty words) languages; Desmond's choice of word was a hybrid: FECK, translated into the continuous tents: Fecking. It sounds like a dirty word and it is used in place of the F-note but it is not a dirty word.

When we all thought it was fun to steal Bonadie and Baisden Mangoes and other fruits, Desmond never did and did not participated. As a matter of fact, just a mere suggestion of going onto those properties, was always a good time for Desmond to excuse himself.

I was still struggling with my mother's death, as a result, I spent a lot of time with my father, It was my place of security. Daddy was always there, I asked him all sought of questions. at that time, I was only allowed to go within a block unsupervised. It did not matter because I had my father, I also had my brothers and sisters; but they did not, do not has the same value of a parent. It was from my father I learn strength, brutal honesty, fearlessness and the love of words.

My father respected everyone but he celebrated no one. He had many people around him, but he had about five people in his inner circle, the council of these guys he listened to but always made up his own mind. My father words was my constitution, I adhere to it with no wavering. And I also understood his silence.

Example: Once one of my father's sister enticed me to join Odd Fellows children lodge, she said "your father will be proud of you, because he was a leading member of the lodge". She also told me not to tell my father until I had joined. This was easy to do because, I wanted to make my father proud. However, when I broke the news to my father, without saying one word; immediately, I knew he did not want me in the lodge. That was the beginning of the end of my days as a junior Odd Fellows.

By this time, daddy was encouraging me to go around the bay-side, to look at the guys in the playground play soccer. For some strange reason, I had a difficult time fitting in. I was a very trusting and honest child, all I wanted was: to be a part; but most of the older kids in the neighborhood, subtly slammed the door of friendship in my face. Most of them spent their time trying to device ways of injuring me, without being held responsible for their actions.

Once, I stood with my peers, on the outside the playground watching the older boys play soccer. While standing there, I felt a blow to my head, after which there was an eruption of laughter, followed by the sound of heavy metal colliding with the pave street. I turn around ready to return the favor to the person; to see the metal portion of an old shovel on the ground beside me, and my friend Raymond standing behind me looking lost. Raymond had a mental handicap.

Honestly, the end result of this incident like all of the incident in my life, was an act of divine intervention. The reason for me concluding so was as followed:

I did not feel the blow to my head only a weight, 

I was not rendered unconscious from the incident 

I did not suffer any adverse effect from this very serious and life threatening incident.

Raymond was my friend and I knew he would never do that vicious or violent act on his own accord; however, everyone had a good laugh, as they, relived the event they had Just witness. They walked behind me mockingly, pretending to be holding the handle-less shovel with both hands, the raise their hand over their heads and swung their hands forward in the same manner Raymond supposedly did. They did a fast moving almost trembling movement of their open hand, palm face down from side to side, to demonstrate the shimmering or vibrating movement of the shovel after it had bounced off of my head.

I don't know how that blow did not knock him out (render me unconscious) they jokingly asked as they all laugh uncontrollable. However, I was not rendered unconscious. They did not care that the incident could have given me a serious concussion, broke my neck or leaved my with some other or some permanent serious injuries. For them it was fun and they all laughed up a storm.

By this time, Chow Ming had developed a bad tasted for the way I was being treated. When I go around the bay, the older young men always enticed me to play football with them. While I was playing, they only pass the ball to me when it was convenient and in such a manner that made it easy for their friend to viciously cut me down injuring me. Each time I was bad play and was injured, Ming will often become upset almost to throw blows, he will pick up the ball and attend to me until I was able to walk off the field, to the displeasure of the other players.

Each time this happened, Ming will put his hand over my shoulder, in the same way a big brother will, in order to get me to stop crying; letting me know that everything will be OK. After which he will walked me half way up the block to my home and say don’t worry with them go home; taking the ball with him; refusing to give up the ball and no one dare try to take the ball from Desmond regardless whose ball it was.

This happened on a regular basis; as a result, and in order to try and protect me from the other guys, who were always giving their best efforts to injure me, Desmond ensured that I played on his team. By doing so, he took on an added responsibility, now he had two responsibilities. The first was to play his game and the second was to look out for me, ensuring that I was not injured.

He always ensure that I was a part of the game by passing the ball to me, then ensuring I passed the ball back to him, before anyone with bad intentions, got the opportunity to bad play me. I learn to listen to Desmond’s instructions while on the field and when I did; I was safe. I listen for that friendly voice of cautions, shouting: "Pearson out!" That only meant one thing: I was about to be viciously tackled. Instinctively I will jump to avoid injuries, while maneuvering the ball with the bottom of my feet. I often avoid the tackle while remaining in possession of the ball; which was kind of cool and make the attacking person look silly.

It was a habit of all the guys to leave the playground and bring their game onto the streets in front of where we lived; where my father operated a shop, along with my father's shop there were two other business there, there was Mr. Roberts Shop and Cornelius Cadogan AKA Douckles also ran his tailor shop in the said area also; there were the Douglas’ house, the John’s house, the Jack’s Place, which was enclosed by a wooden eight feet fence; Miss Menellva’s house which was enclosed by an eight feet wall; however Ms. Menellva’s house was on some three feet stilts at the back. The stilts elevated her house and cause the windows and most of the upper part of her house stand above the wall; and there was the Russell’s tenement.

After a while, my father began to call the police whenever, the guys came up from the playground to play on the pavement in front of our home. I can remember one day, I was sitting in the shop with father, as I watched and enjoyed the guys as they raise the ball. Then the police came and they all ran. I was kind of disappointed that he called the police. My father recognized that I was disappointed by his actions.

He used that opportunity as a teaching moment and in so doing, he start a conversation. He said to me, "you think I am a bad person for calling the police?" I did not respond in words; I just push up my shoulder with and raise my eye brows indicating I am not sure what to think. However, I did not like the idea of him calling the police on the guys. Then he asked me a few question, he said "when the kick the ball and they break our window, or Ms. Menelva’s window what do they do?" He used our home and Ms. Menellva’s home because these were the two houses that were most affected.

I thought about daddy's question for a while and then I answered, they normally take up their ball, then they all run. Then my father asked me another question: "have anyone of them ever come and take responsibility or say I am sorry?" I said no. It was then I began to see why my father did what he did. Then he said, Ms. Menelva is an old woman, she don’t work anywhere, but when they break her windows; she has to find money to buy the replacement glass and putty; then she have to pay someone to replace the glass. Do you think that is fair to her? I said no. immediately, I began to see everything in a new light, and I knew that my father's actions were right.

Later that day I went around the bayside and no one was on the playground, no one was playing soccer. I was told that everyone was in the newly vacant room in one of Russell’s bayside tenements. As a result, I found the room and I went into the room. All of the guys were gathered there chatting including Desmond. These were the older boys in the neighborhood and all attended secondary school. I on the other hand, was still in the lower primary stages of school.

As soon as I entered the room, one of the older boys began to pick on me. Your father is an informer he said; as he began to make his case against my father. Your father is the one who calls the police whenever we are playing soccer in the streets" he continued. I looked at him strangely because I was shocked at the statement he made and the anger he displayed. I was of no threat to this guy, but I will not allow anyone to criticized my father for doing what was right.

I said to the older angry young man whom I knew very well; I don’t care what you say, my father is right to do whatever he did. Speaking about him calling the police. This made the fellow even more angry; he cold not believed what he was hearing, then in anger he declared: "and the man supporting his father's actions."

I had no one to defend me, my father was no where around, and neither were any of my big brothers; however, I was defiant in my defense of my father and my father's actions. My father is right to do what he did, I fearlessly said again. Then in haste the older guy, got up from where he was sitting, and he sprang over to where I was. he was angry with hand raise and ready to throw blows.

However, before he could get to me, out of nowhere, Desmond with cat like reflexes got to his feet, and sprang in front of his very good friend; creating a protective barrier between me and his angry friend and in a fit of anger he declared, “You cannot hit the man; You want the man to go against his own father. I don't know why, but, standing bravely in defense of my father struck a cord with Desmond whose father had prematurely die some years ago.

He has a right to defend his father;" Desmond declared; squaring up his friend, Chow Ming's left foot was forward, his head hanging slightly down and turned away slightly to the right, while still keeping a visual on his opponent, his hands were tensely hanging to his side. Later when I get to know Ming much better, I got to understand what this posture meant. It meant I don't want to fight, but if you insisted on pursuing that course of action I will. Chow Ming not being a man of may fighting words paused for a while; as his friend began to remind him that he also had to run when the police came on my father's request. Desmond declared in as serious tone: "run or no run; friends of no friends; “you cannot hitting the Fecking man as long as I am here."

Then he said Pearson (the name I was known by as a child) lets go, we left the room and he put his hands over my shoulder and he walked me half way up Queen Street, as he did many times before; then he said to me go on home. I had the assurance that no matter where I was; as long as Desmond was there, I was safe. After that period; I became the little brother Desmond never had. When he was going to the evening shows (Matinee), he will asked if I wanted to go with him; after securing my father’s permission and money to pay my way, he will take me to the movies to watch chines - Kong-fu movies, Desmond also rushed for my ticket (in those days it was a literal fight only for the strong, the fit and the skill to get ticket for the movies).

Later, when I was able to take care of myself. I returned the favor by taking Noel Fox Also Known As: Buppas as my little brother, taking him to the movies and to the beach with me as Desmond often did for and with me.

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Allan Palmer - received a commendation for excellent investigation work.

I was seated patiently awaiting my name to be called, as I look at the pride on the faces of the recipient who preceded me. The pride of being acknowledged for something they would have done; as they collected their award to the applause of the appreciative audience who attended the function. This was the end of year gifts and awards ceremony, which is an annual feature of the Bermuda Police Service.

After waiting for what seems to be a long while, my name was called, and the presenter read what was written on the pack. The next award goes to Allan Palmer; for excellent investigation work that led to the apprehension of a dangerous criminal. I proudly walk up to the stage, where the prices were being handed out to the civilian and enlisted staff, of the Bermuda Police Service for various accomplishments.

On that day I received two awards, the other was for perfect attendance; this was the Bermuda Police Service acknowledging; for working an entire year without missing a day of work. I got a perfect attendance award for two consecutive years, but miss getting one for the third year; because I missed one day of work; that was the day, I took off from work, to moan the passing of my beloved big brother Albert Palmer.

The events that led to the investigation award happened a week or two after my confrontation with Lady Vereker, the wife of Bermuda Governor John Vereker. It was my first day on the streets of Bermuda in active police service. I was assigned to "A" watch, which was working the grave yard shift. "B" watch was the team on duty that was to be relief. Sergeant (Sgt.) Gregory Grimes was the Sgt. In charged of B watch.

I got to the Hamilton Police Station at 42 Parliament Street, in the City of Hamilton, early to get a feel of the place. I did not want to feel like a wondered, getting there just in time and having to be blindly, and awkwardly asking questions in a rush to find out information or to avoid being late. I wanted to have a head start.

I was told where the briefing room was and I went there to await the None Commission Officer (NCO) who would be tasked with my supervision and the other members of the watch or team with whom I would be working. There were some members of B watch in the briefing room. They were on the computers, updating the incidents they attend during the course of their shift. There were also a few members of A watch present, like me, they also came to work early.

While we were all sitting there, some were engaged in conversation, while I quietly observing everyone trying to understand the personalities I will be working with. A call came in via the police radio, there was a robbery in progress, the name of the suspect, was given, the location of the robbery, the weapon that was used in the robbery as well as, the property that was stolen. Later I discovered that the alleged robber was one of Bermuda's most wanted.

After the transmission was completed the members of A watch, who were all equipped with police radio; immediately dashed out of the briefing room, scampered down the wooden stairs of the old renovated relic that housed the Hamilton Police Station which was located on 42 Parliament Street, in the City of Hamilton and off they went with flashing lights and blasting sirens. The few of us who were new went to the window to look at the police vehicles in urgent response.

We were just about to settle into a conversation, to occupy the time while we wait until we were paraded, assigned and dispatched on duty. Then Sgt. Grimes came into the briefing room and said, this is a serious incident and the suspect is dangerous, he is wanted for a series of crimes, we need you all to go and assist with the search, apprehension and arrest of the suspect.

He instructed us to go down stairs, drab a radio and join the waiting single man units outside. We all ran down stairs, I personally was uncertain about this. I was in a strange place, I did not know anyone, I only knew but a two roads on the island; it was night, the transmissions on the radio seems like a completely new language to me; I had to get use to the Bermudian accent, and I only knew a few of the 10 series code the police used to communicate with, and so much more.

Unfortunately, there were not enough radios, so I join the party without a radio. I went into a car and I saw a beautiful young lady seated in the driver’s seat; she had two years’ active police service including training. However, she was already a certified emergency response driver. This young lady will remain nameless.

When we got to the scene there were lots of marked police vehicles on the scene and even more police officers. Police units responded to the scene where the suspect was last seen: from St. Georges as well as the Somerset Police Stations. Everyone had their searchlights out and we were all searching the area. We all searched until the order was given to abandon the search. The combined efforts of all the police officers did not revealed the suspect or any hint that he was ever there.

However, there was a red T-shirt which was abandon in the area of the scene. The T-shirt was written off as garbage. By this time, everyone had returned to their cars, some of the cars left the scene. My partner had already returned to the car she drove; and she was anxiously awaited me to join her so we can get going. Her shift had ended and she wanted to return to the station, hand over the car key and her radio and go to her home. I was still outside in the general area of the scene; in the vicinity of where the suspect was last seen.

All of the artificial lights were turned off, the moon light lit up the area perfectly; as a result, the scene took on a new look under the moonlight. I knew we had over looked the obvious, but what was it. I stood there looking around in an unfamiliar place, asking myself one question over and over again. I asked a question my big brother Albert "the skipper" Palmer always asked himself, when he was trying to solve some problem. What am I missing! What am I missing! By this time my partner impatient was evident as she pressed the horn, to alert me it is time to go; after all her shift had ended some time ago.

The moonlight, the quiet and the lack of people traffic revealed a new dynamic I did not see before. And then a series of events, that I never discussed with anyone took place, after which, I stood absolutely still, not making a sound, observing a particular area; it was then I saw a man concealed in the bushy hedge; the man whose name I will not call in this forum. I along with other officers had searched that hedge before, but no one saw him. I had no radio so I could not transmit my discovery to the other units; so I did the next best thing; I shouted, "I find him come back come back." The other officers, who were still on the scene, sitting in their cars, herd me and they came running.

The suspect was believed to still have the weapon with which he carried out the robbery. I did not know this criminal and what he was capable of, what was his temperament; I knew nothing about this suspect. As a result, I stood in a manner to ensure he did not escape and then I shout instructions for the Prisoner to come from hiding place. While he was making his way out on all fours, my partner whose car was closest to me, was ahead of the other running officers, even before the man was out of the hedge, she rushed towards the suspect held onto him and then declared: “I made the arrests.” after which the suspect was put in hand cuff.

She was a rookie and was all excited about making the arrest. This taking credit for arresting someone in such situations was new to me. In St. Vincent I could not remember making an arrest took on so much value, I personally did not care who arrested a person as long as the person was arrested. I had arrested many people, who were a suspect in an offense, one of my colleagues were investigating and thought nothing of it. And others had done the same for me. It was just the way we worked.

However, what was shocking; when we return to the station; the young constable related the events to Sgt. Grimes, as if I was nowhere around. According to her story, she was the one who discovered and arrested the suspect. When I heard her story, all I did was smile. Later Sgt. Grimes called me into his office and asked if I was there when the suspect was arrested?

I said to the distinguished sergeant; well, let us put it this way; everyone on the scene including the arresting officer; were already in their cars when the suspect was discovered. Some of the units had already left the scene. I was the only person still looking; I am the one who discovered the suspect in the hedges; because I had no radio, I shouted and alerted the other units that was still on the scene of my discovery; I was the one who instructed the suspect to come out from his hiding place; and while the suspect was almost out of the hedge; the lady police rushed over to him, lay hands on the suspect and declared: "I made the arrest." Then Sgt. Grimes call the young constable over and told her to go and update the incident to reflect what actually happened.

Even after I had forgotten about the incident, I often wondered, why for almost five years my path and the paths of this young lady police officer has crossed on the job and in the community; yet she had never said hello or anything else to me for that fact. All the other police in the Bermuda Police Service, was very cordial and friendly with me; however, this young lady never spoke to me, unless her communication with me; was unavoidable police duties.

It was for this piece of work for which I was receiving a commendation. After I received my award, I was showered with appreciation by the attending audience.

True Story - Allan Meets the Bermuda Governor: Sir John Vereker & his wife.

I could hear some people, in their little groups, as they discuss the incident that have happened less than hour before. They asked each other questions such as; what will be the management of the Bermuda Police Service response to PC Palmer and the incident they just witnessed on the Governor's premises? While others felt the need to abreast me of the situation: "Palmer," they said "that incident is going to reach the police authorities; the Commissioner of Police is going to hear about it, and they are not going to take it lightly." This was some of the sentiments that were being expressed on our return to the Bermuda Police Training facility at Prospect, in the City of Hamilton, the Capital of Bermuda.

While others expressed the opinion that, I was in big trouble; some went as far as to suggest, they may even send you back to your country even before you get started. This was the consensus, of all who were at the scene. "I am in trouble for what?" I asked, "for doing what is right? For doing something you guys should have step up and do?" Was my reply to the rhetoric of fear that was being propagated. 

I was on the island on Bermuda for five weeks, I left my Country, family, friends, all that I know and love, as well as, my old job behind; after providing nine years of service to my community, to take up a new job in the same field. My responsibility was to uphold and enforce the laws Bermuda an overseas territory of England. I was not alone in this new adventure; there were others from different Caribbean country and England; going through a six weeks assimilation training course, were we got a theoretical understanding of the culture, the people, the different races; the criminal climate and other related issue as well as the laws we were required to enforced. 

We were into the last week of the sixth week assimilation course. The The Bermuda Fire Service had completed a plan the Governor's office commissioned the Bermuda Fire Department, to carry out a general assessment of the Government house and create a comprehensive evacuation plan of the Bermuda Governor’s mansion and office. The Government house office, is located on the same property as the Governor's residence. This was not just an ordinary plan; but it was a detail operations plan; which, the police on duty at the Governor’s mansion were required to be familiar with, and be ready to execute in the event of an emergency. 

This, plan will aid in the quick evacuation of residence and workers at the Governor’s house; and see them quickly and safely usher to a designated safe zone on the property, until the appropriate arrangement is made to take them off of the property and away from the danger. This plan was designed and was being put into place, in order to prevent and or minimize injuries and death, in the event there was a real emergency such as a fire, a violent unlawful intrusion, or a terrorist attack, etc. 

The Bermuda Fire Service has some of the best-trained personnel there is on a small island, as a matter, of fact, the Bermuda Fire personnel are well trained and are just as qualified as any firefighter you will find in the USA or Europe. The Bermuda Fire Department follows the American model of response and operations. There are qualify fire investigators within their ranks, and a range of other specialist. They also have a medic core attached to the fire Department. And are the primary medical emergency first responders on the twenty-two square-miles island. 

The Governor on the other hand, is Her Majesty the Queen of England representative on the island. He or she is always a British citizen which all Bermudian are; however, in this case, the Governor to Bermuda, is always one who was born in England. Unlike most commonwealth countries that have since stepped from under the British Monarchy, the Governor of Bermuda has real power. Although his office does not get him involved in the day to day political and economic affairs of the island, he controls and gives directive to the Police Service, the Bermuda Regiment (The Army), the Fire Department, the Auditor General, the Accountant General and all of the major institution that are in place to ensure political and administrative accountability as well as, the continued good governance of the island resources. 

The governor of Bermuda is a very powerful man, at any time, during his daily briefing, from the key institutions heads, if he gets the sense from the reports that the government is involved in major corruption, he can order and commission an investigation into the affairs of government and if in his opinion it is needed; he has the power to, upon receiving the instruction from England; dissolve the parliament, put an interim government in place, until a suitable group is constitutionally elected, to once again administer the affairs of the island. In the same way that was done in Turks and Caicos in 2009. 

Assembled at the Government house, were groups of fire fighters, police officers and Government house staff awaiting the arrival of the governor and his wife Sir John and Lady Vereker. We were all gather there for a practical briefing and presentation of the new emergency response plan to possible emergencies. As expected the Governor must be waited upon and not the other way around. The Bermuda Fire Chief was responsible for making the presentation; he was aided by two other senor ranking firefighters, who had all who contributed to the completions of this project; all using their several expertise. 

In their introduction, they clearly explained that they used a lot of scientific calculation, their experience and world trends and extensive research to completed this plan. One of the clear example they give to help us to understand what they were speaking of the spoke about the ten (10) hundred pounds’ propane tanks that is stored on the premises for domestic use. They give the scientific calculation of the force and the velocity of an object that was propelled from an explosion of one such tanks, or the tank itself as well as the damages that may occur from such object being propelled. 

While we were taking a tour of the house, Madam Vereker objected, "why do they have to go into our home and into our bedroom" she said. The Fire official patiently and professionally explained to the Governor’s wife, in the event there is an emergency a split second can make the different between life and death. If the officers know where your rooms are then they can go directly to your room, and alert you of what is happening and safely escort you away from the danger. 

It was only after some urging of the importance of the exercise that she consented to having the party of police and fire fighters into the house and up to her private quarters, not for an intrusive look but for a location identification view. Every decision the fire fighter came up with Lady Vereker shot it down like a notorious marksman on a shooting range with a loaded gun. She managed to make the hard work of the fire department useless. But what was overwhelmingly surprising, no matter how outrageous or how irrational her comments were, everyone agree with her and change their sound scientific plans to accommodate the untrained governor’s wife irrational suggestions. I was shock at the way things were proceeding. I could not believe what I was witnessing. 

There were senior members as well as some junior members of the Bermuda Fire Service present. There were also an inspector and several None Commission Officers (NCO) of the Bermuda Police Service present among the people that assembled at the Government house in Bermuda. Yet, everyone stood by helplessly, while Lady Vereker ripped the Plans of the Bermuda Fire Department apart with her forcefully objections which resulted in the Fire Personnel reluctantly changing their well thought-out and well put together plans; that was gear to saving people’s live; to accommodate the Governor's wife. Lady Vereker, slowly and intentionally decimated the esteem of the Bermuda Fire Service, objections after objections, and their plans were also decimated with their esteem and their ego. 

The continued objections resulted in the public obliteration of plans the Firefighters spent many hours, of research, the employment of skills, expertise, and experience to put together. A plan that was designed to help save life and prevent injuries in the event of an emergency. A presentation the fire personnel spent many hours preparing to make. In the process, the Governor’s wife were unknowingly, endanger her life, the life of her family, Government house staff, the police that work on the premises and were responsible for executing the plans and the life of the first responders who respond to any emergency that may occur there.

By this time, we were all out on the large grounds of the Governor’s house. There were four distinct groups congregated in the premises standing closely together in a circular position that gave each person a view of the presenters. There were the presenters who were standing with their backs to the north eastern position, there were the Governor and the Governor’s wife standing on the immidiate left of the presenters, the government house staff were on the Governor’s left, there were a small group of firefighters standing immediately opposite the presenters and to the left of the fire fighters there was a large contingent of police officers.

The Fire Personnel had a designated area on the property that was consider a safe zone in the event of a fire. The Fire Personnel explained why they selected the area, which was the lowest point on the property; and because smoke rises, this area is safe from the effects of smoke inhalation and smoke related effects on the body. It was away from the road and provided some shelter from visibility from the street; the area was also out of the reach of missiles which may resulted from an exploding propane tank, that may be propelled at high velocity from an explosion they explained. 

Lady Vereker put up her hands once again, as she has been doing although the presentation and she was acknowledged as she was several times before. Then she declared, to my disgusted surprised; “why does the safe area have to be all the way down there; why can’t it be over there.” She pointed to a spot on the property that was not too far from the building that housed the Governor’s home and office, a place that was within the drop zone of missiles that was launched by the explosions and was in the line of smoke for the area was on the same level of the house and the strong wind that come up from the sea. 

One would have thought that the Governor’s wife was not listening to what the presenters was saying. It was clear that the area that the Governor’s wife was suggesting, without considering the danger that her suggested location posed; they were just about to change the safe zone to once again appease the Governor’s wife, ignoring the potential dangers of their decisions they were about to make and have made since the presentation begin. 

I put up my hand and waved it so it will not be overlooked, when the presenter acknowledged my hand, I said I do not have a question about the presentation because the information is clear, however, I will like to address Lady Vereker, I said Lady Vereker, you have got to understand, that the member of the Bermuda Fire Department are trained men in their field, they clearly said that they used, their training in the several related field, they did research, and they used their experience in coming up with a scientific report and everything in their report and presentation was are based on sound scientific calculation. 

You are not a trained person in any of the sciences, be it fire technology or the science of explosion or any of its related field;" I continued, "when you object to the firefighters recommendations, which is based on sound, practical and scientific calculations, what you are actually doing is, endangering your live, the life of your family, the life of Government house staff; the life of the police who work on the premises, who are expected to execute the altered plan and the life’s of the other emergency workers who will attend any emergency. You have to allow the train professionals to do their jobs to the best of your ability.” Then I respectfully said that is all I wanted to say.” 

By the time I was finished speaking, I did not realize a hurricane blue over the Governor’s property. When I looked around, I realized that everyone had moved from around me. I was left standing with one other person; A St. Lucian police officer by the name of PC Peter Charlemagne, who is currently and inspector of police in the Bermuda Police Service.

Charlemagne was a young man who have served the people of St. Lucia for 10 years in the capacity of a police officer before taking up his new post in Bermuda with the Bermuda Police Service. At the tine of the event Peter had been serving in Bermuda as a police officer for about two years before I arrived to Bermuda. He refused to move and stood with me, because in his words, you were not saying anything wrong, you were not rude in you speech and what you said made sense. I got the impression, I beat Charlemagne to making the same remarks. 

Contrary to what most of the people who were present thought and expressed, nothing came out of the harmless incident, I was never asked about it, I never spoke about it. This incident made the authorities took me serious and therefore, it gave me some leverage; when I discovered that the white police officers were treated differently from the black police officers. One day I brought up my observation of the racial disparity with regard to the treatments of the white police officer who came from England and the Black police officers who came from the West Indies. As a result, I informed my supervisor that I expected to be treated as if I am white and I will not accept anything less. As a result, I was treated with the utmost respect by all from the junior as well as senior staff of all rank. 

The incident that occurred at the Government House, was kept alive within the Bermuda Police Service and within Bermuda by a Dominican Senior Police Constable by the name of: Kenrick Shillingford. Kenrick was the permanently assigned to duties at the Governor’s house, because of an injury he sustained. It was my good friend Mr. Shillingford’s self-appointed responsibility to jokingly remind me of that incident everywhere he saw me.

It could be on the job, when we were out on work social, at visit to his home or on the streets. It matters not where Kenrick sees me, he automatically sticks his hands into the air, then he will recite my little speech verbatim, in a distorted voice that mimics the way I speaks. Kenrick had a hell of a time sharing this story with his friend and family especially when I was around and he will literally die with laughter each time he share it. You would have though Kenrick have just heard this for the very first time. 

True Story: Teacher Lewis - A tyrant or a man who care?

I was a normal seven years old, and to my mother’s satisfaction I was progressing well in School. I was just promoted to Infant 2, when my world came into contact with the pendulum of life. The momentum of the pendulum, although only slightly tipping my world, was great enough to send my world into an uncontrolled spin, causing it to settle upside-down. Even at that age, many of the things I took for granted, had drastically changed.

My mother took the time to prepare me mentally to deal with the physical aspect of her death. As a result, when everyone in my family was all broken up, searching for answers and means of dealing with my mother’s death; I had a very interesting prospective of mother’s death. My attitude, my reply to question about mother’s death, even my conduct at the funeral, was not in keeping with the solemnity that was expected and associated with death.

I was very casual and although my behavior and answers to questions met the common but unpracticed beliefs about what death is, and the manner family and friends should behaved at the death of a love one; everyone, though I did not understand what had happened. I could hear family members, family friends and other members of the community saying, poor child he just don’t understand. Interestingly, Mother told me to expect everyone to say the things that was being said; so I was fine with their remarks, which I ignored.

Of course, I understood what death was, I understood that it was the last time I will ever see my mother as I knew her, I understood that she will be buried and the decomposition process. My mother took the time to put death; especially her death into prospective for me. Of all of her children, I was the youngest; therefore, knowing she was going to die, she was most worried about me, and daily; Mother took the time to prepare me for her death.

She know that as a child, I was an idealist, I was also too trusting, and she knew that I may not be able to deal with her death and therefore spent a lot of time to shape my perception of death especially her death.

Although my mother’s efforts was instrumental in making sure I was prepared to deal with her death and understood what death was, She could not see far enough into the future, and therefore was unable to adequately prepare me, to deal with life without her presence. Although I was prepared to and was able to deal with the physical aspects of death, and all of the things that was expected when one die; it was her absence that really toppled my world.

Some of the singes that made it evident that something was wrong, and therefore alerted my family that something was desperately wrong was; I no longer enjoyed and no longer wanted to go to church, I did everything in my power to avoid going to church. It took a while but very soon it became a full time job to get me to go to church. I did not hate Jesus of his father; however, going to church was no longer fun. The second thing was, my schooling suffered, I slid to the bottom of the class.

I fell into a daze, and I just could not get out of it. Everything fell apart and they all lost its value. I no longer knew why I was doing all the things that I was required to do and I did not see why I should do them. Before that, I did them because it was fun, I was contented, I had a child's perfect world my mother and my father, big brothers and big sisters and being the last one I was the center of all their attention and affection. But then, the prolong absence of my mother changed it all. I did not knew what it was like to miss someone; So when I was asked, I always replied no. However, I fell down in every aspect of my life; my ability to read declined; and my attention span also declined; as well as my ability to interact with others.

My family, with their limited knowledge of what was happening to me, took every step to see if they could help me. There effort ranged from the purchase of things, a child my age may want, they also thought there was a problem with the school, so I change school, It was also suggested and I was taken to the eye specialist, to have my eyes examine. It was thought, I may have had a problem with my vision, which a glasses may correct, and therefore help me overcome my reading obstacle.

They did not want to take any chances; Dr. Cyrus had opened his hospital, In St. Vincent and the Grenadines and to the locals Dr. Cyrus was the best at everything. According to my family, if there is anything wrong, the only person who could figure it out and deal with it, was Dr. Cyrus and he was also an eye specialist (etymologist).

Keeping the appointment to see the preeminent doctor; My sister explained what was wrong, then Dr. Cyrus examined my eyes, he discovered, that one of my eye was 20-20 vision and he discovered that the other eye had extremely good vision which may be better than 20-10 vision, unfortunately the standard chart was limited to the examining up to 20-10 vision. The difference in the vision in his eyes, should not affect his ability to read he declare. This declaration put us back to square one. There was no solution to my academic problems.

It was suggested to my father that I may have some form of retardation, but he was not hearing it. I was now enrolled in the Kingstown Preparatory (Prep) School, and all I wanted was to be left alone. A good day at school was; when I was not required to participate publicly in the class. I developed a system that saw me barely passing on the final exams and ensure that I moved from grade to grade as was required. I developed a good memory, and I remembered most of what was said in the class along with paying attention and remembering the answers to the questions I got wrong in the test. As a result, when it was most important, I managed to pass the promotion exams.

I refrained from voluntarily answering questions that was asked in the class, even those questions I knew the answer to. This was my way not to bring any unwanted attention to myself in the class; as a result, most of the teacher though that I my presence was just a waste of space, and they ignored me, which was what I wanted.

One day, the class teacher while teaching science, asked a question, no one that she asked to answer the question knew the answer. Then she began to call upon the more brighter of the students; after exhausting all her options, she got angry and began to lament, I am wasting my time in this class; she began to speak of what she was going to do. If she was going to do as she say, that mean, I will be required to participate. I could not have that. I put up my hands. And she said in an angry tone. Palmer what do you want?

I said I want to answer the question; the teacher sulked; tensing her face and sucking back her lips, while rolling her eyes, as if to say, yeah right! If the others cannot answer the question how can you. However, in disgust and expecting some foolish answer; she said what is the answer. After I answer the question she looked at me with a strange look on her face. I did not know what to make of her facial expression; then she exclaimed that is the correct answer; she still had that funny look on her face; she was not please with the occurrence.

When she rarely realized what have happened she asked, Palmer how do you knew the answer to a question that no one else in the class knew the answer? I answered: I don’t know I just know the answer. The teacher immediately left the class and return to the staff-room and she did not return to the class until after the lunch period. We had about two hours of free time, everyone was happy just for the opportunity to do nothing but to talk; we even switch seats because we were totally unsupervised. Some of my classmates said Palmer you must answer more question and we will get more free time.

I was due to write the national Common Entrance exams in 1979, but I did not get the opportunity to write the secondary school placement exam. This was so, because my father saw it fit to send my sister and I to Trinidad and Tobago to escape the danger of the erupting La Soufriere volcano. Three months later, when my sister Andrea and I return to St. Vincent and the Grenadines, the Common Entrance exam; the exams that determined if a child was going to a secondary school or not was done and all the children knew which school they were going to attend. There were a few schools that had an entrance exam, like the Emanuel High Schools Kingstown and Mesopotamia as well as the Intermediate High School also knows as Timmy School.

By this time, all of the school with entrance exams had already held their entrance test and already made their selection. By big brother Albert who was a pass student of the Intermediate High School and who was a teacher and who knew the value of an education went and spoke to Mr. Timmy Richards; after whom the community called the school. He explained the circumstances of my situation and one teacher to another asked if he can make an exception and allow me to take the test even if the time has pass. Mr. Richards decided to do my brother whom he had taught and who was a model student in his school a favor.

My academics did not improve, not even my brother Albert who had developed a reputation in reaching hard to reach children was able to reach and help me. However, by this time, I have stop reading except for the fact, my father said he was unable to find his glasses, and therefore needed me to read various things to him. On Friday however, I had a paid assignment. I was required to read the weekly newspaper to him; after which, he paid me twenty five cent or more depending.

Daddy knew of my reading problem and was trying to get me into the habit of reading, I will mumble over the words as he sat there listening to me bumping into invisible obstacles. After which he will give me twenty. However, in High School, I still used the system I developed and used in primary school; the system that helped me to pass just when it meant the most; at final exams; which resulted in promotions. I just barely managed not to be thrown out of school.

Apart from all of my academic difficulties, I had some bright spots. There was a shapely teacher by the name of Mrs. Williams who got my attention. Mr. Williams was a science teacher; I always did well in her class. And then there was Ms. Kirby, the daughter of the well-known Pharmacist Kirby who operated a pharmacy in the capital city of Kingstown. At that stage of my life, this young women who was responsible for preparing me academically was the most beautiful woman I have every laid eye on.

The first time I lay my eyes on Ms. Kirby, she was a student, fresh out of Girls High School, a teacher with the responsibility for teaching the business subject commerce. I have never seen this lady before she came to teach at the school and immediately; I fell in love. There was no way I was ever going to fail the subject she was responsible for providing instructions. I can still hear Ms. Kirby’s melodious voice, explaining the then complex law of Diminishing Returns. She only had to say it once and I got the concept. I only understood the concept because it was coming from the most beautiful woman God had created.

All this time, I was trying to drop out of school, but My Sister Clare was not having it. She had invested lots of money and time in my life since my mother died. And she wanted the best for me and in her opinion there is nothing like an education. She insisted that I go to school and out of respect for her and all that she had done for me I reluctantly complied. She knew better and she used rational in keeping me in school.

One day during assemble, Mr. Richards the principal of the Intermediate High school had and made a big announcement. Like a professional sport team owner today, he made a big acquisition. He managed to lure a prominent, experience English teacher by the name of Mr. Lewis to join his staff. He said, Mr. Lewis was at home doing nothing all that talent was just being wasted.

Mr. Lewis was the type of the teacher who held his students responsible and accountable. He wanted maximum participation from each student and expects to see results; some type of improvement from every student. I was in big trouble, this was the type of teacher I spend my whole life resenting. In the pass, I burn the other teacher out and after a while, they just ignored me. Mr. Lewis was relentless in his pursuit to get me involved, he held me accountable and responsible for assignments and my academic development. There was never a day, I did not have an encounter with Mr. Lewis.

I did not do homework when it was given, I did not revised for test, and I did not take anything that was taught in the class serious, unless it was being taught by Mrs. Williams or Ms. Kirby. After Mr. Lewis started becoming overbearing, I took some time and I did my homework. Mr. Lewis made a big deal in front of the class. He said class Palmer actually did his homework assignment. Then he said to me: "Palmer; you see what you can do when you apply yourself." He continue: "you can actually do the work but for some reason you do not apply yourself.

It was not too long that I went back to my old ways; however, Mr. Lewis was not taking my in activity lying down. I just could not see what Mr. Lewis was making this big a problem of. No one else has ever made all this fuss before. I thing this man just don’t like me, I concluded. Each day I had to mentally prepare to deal with Mr. Lewis. Mr. Lewis needed to know, we were making an academic effort, even when we were not in school and homework was his evidence of that. Every day it was a constant battle between Mr. Lewis and I. Mr. Lewis tried everything in his power in order to get me to apply myself academically, but nothing he tried worked.

In his never ending battle to get student participation in the class, Mr. Lewis said: "from today, I whenever we are reviewing a story, I am going to have everyone reading out loud. I said to myself, this man is really out to get me. I have not yet overcome my vision problem and therefore did not read much; I was an extremely poor reader. The next day Mr. Lewis began his new student participation exercise. I was happy, because he started at the back; I prayed that by the time he reached to me, the time that was allotted for the class period would have ran out. And everything was going good. There were people with different level of reading skills, in the class.

Then it came to my turn, I became nervous, my palm sweat as I began, I began to chew up the over words, as stumble through the selected passage of literature. At the end, Mr. Lewis said, in a serious authoritative tone “Do you call that reading? How did you make it this far in school reading like that? I have a nine year old son at home, who reads much better than you!" I was totally embarrassed, but I played it off, after all, it was not the first time I have heard those sentiments.

I became fascinated by my sister Andrea's newly developed penmanship, and she took the time to teach me how to improve my hand writing. She said, it will not happen over knight, it takes time, but after a while, it will come natural. Each day I practiced with the objective of improving my penmanship. One of Andrea's instructions was simple, she advised me to get a book and start writing the words; she further said, I had to take my time writing the words exactly as they appear in the book. I wanted to improve my hand writing, as a result, I follow her instructions. Before I knew it, I had a beautiful hand writing. When I write all of the letters were all the same size, they were well formed and they had fancy hooks and curves.

There was also an added perk; without realizing it, by copying large volumes of words from different books, I began to relearn a skill I did naturally before my mother’s death; a skill that the average person never had to worry about. I began to retrain my eyes to focus in harmony on organized words. My father was the first to notice there was a change in my reading. He said “your reading is improving,” I did not even notice that I was reading better even though the focus problem persisted, I began to get some level of control over reconciling both eyes to the task of reading.

By this time, I have left school after a serious conversation with My sister Clare, promising her that I will continue my secondary schooling by going to evening classed. Clare reluctantly said, I cannot give you permission to drop out of school, if you choose to stop going to school that have to be your decision and it will be your lost.

I had stopped reading the newspaper for my father and he stopped asking me to. He found his glasses which he claimed, was lost and he began to read the paper for himself, as he did before the mysterious disappearance of his reading glasses. I will volunteer to read the paper for my father when I wanted something from him.

One Friday afternoon, while I was reading the weekend Newspaper to my father, I saw a well written letter to the editor, at the bottom to the letter the name Aubrey Burgin appeared as the writer. I knew this fellow; I said to myself, we are friend and my sister Andrea was dating his brother Elliot. I did not know regular people can write in the newspaper. I always had an opinion and I wanted to be heard. So I took my time and I penned a letter to the editor of the Vincentian Newspaper Ms. Nora Peacock. At that time, The Vincentian newspaper was the more popular of the two newspapers on the island; the other one being the Star Newspaper.

I was all excited when I saw my letter appeared in the Vincentian Newspaper, I did not have to tell anyone about my accomplishment, for it seems that everyone saw it. At that time reading was the most fashionable form of entertainment and the newspaper was read by everyone. Back then, one newspaper moved from house to house in the same way Santa Clause was believed to have done, each year on the night before Christmas.

About a year or so after leaving school, I return to the Intermediate High School for proof that I attended the school; and evidence that I had attained form four. I need this in order to gain employment with the vector control unit. I did not care to see any of the teachers, except for Ms. Richards who was always respectful and kind to all of the students. I certainly did not want to see Mr. Lewis and I was sure that he did not want to see me either; was I wrong.

I was waiting in the small corridor outside, Mr. Richard’s office, which was also the main entrance into the staff room. While I was in the corridor waiting, I saw Mr. Lewis sitting at his desk, reading as usual, or maybe he was devising some way of making some helpless student life a living hell. My efforts to remain conceal from Mr. Lewis failed, when he heard my voice speaking to someone in the corridor, where I was standing with some students who were defaulters and were probably awaiting Mr. Richards attention; most likely they were to be flogged. Mr. Lewis quickly lifted up his head, taking his attention from that which he was so keenly focused upon, and then he laid eyes on me. He focused, to ensure he was seeing correctly; after which, a big commotion erupted in the staff-room.

Mr. Lewis got up from where he was comfortably seated at his desk and he began to shout at the top of his voice “there he is, there he is” he said. I began to look around to see who he was speaking to, by this time the students recognizing that Mr. Lewis was speaking to me, they all shifted away from me, not wanting to be implicated in whatever I have gotten myself into. I said to myself, Lord have Mercy! I have left this school more than a year ago, and he is still having problems with me; I searched my mind to see how I could have offended this man in the pass year of so; but I could not find an incident that could have provoked his anger.

Mr. Lewis quickly grabbed a fold up piece of paper from his desk and began to wave the piece of raggedy paper in the air somewhat over his head in his left hand; as if to be directing the attention of everyone to that which he was holding in his hand; while he shouted at me. His tone was not one of anger; but more one of frustration. I looked at Mr. Lewis as he made his way nearer to where I was standing, still waving the paper around and still shouting the same three words. I whispered to the students who were now looking at me strangely and with some measure of relief that they were not the center of this kind of attention. “I hope he realized that I am no longer a student here.”

By this time, Mr. Lewis had the attention of the entire staff-room; he also had the attention of the defaulters who were awaiting their flogging; as well as, those students who were in the yard. He walked down aisle of the staff room as the other members of the staff that occupied the teacher office with him followed his movements with their eyes, while others turn in their chair following his movement along the narrow aisle of the staff-room curious as to what the whole commotion was about. When Mr. Lewis got about three quarters away down the passage way to one of the teachers who knew me, he stood up at her desk and violently slammed the fold up piece of what appeared to be a newspaper, which was neatly fold to a particular area onto her desk and declared. There he is, I knew this child is a brilliant child, I knew he had it in him to produced good work, I tried all I could to get this guy to apply himself and he never made an effort while he was a student here.

Take a look at this, he said pausing only to take a breath of air before he continued, he is now writing in the newspapers. Look at the quality of his writing, I knew he had it in him but I just could not get through to him. He look at me he said it is a good article and he encourage me to continue to write, then he retraced his steps back to where he was sitting, and went back to what he was doing; leaving the shabby newspaper on the desk before the teacher who then took up the shabby newspaper and began to read the article. I watch her as she raising her brow with surprise as she read.

I felt good to be recognized and to be complemented by Mr. Lewis. All this time, I thought Mr. Lewis hated me; however, he recognized the abilities I had and he tried to get me to apply myself, so I could have develop that which I did not know I possessed.

Today I have encountered another Mr. Lewis on Facebook. When he read my post, articles and he sees some common error, he will shoot me an inbox, "Palmer pay attention to your writing you may lose the meaning of the thought you are conveying." He will direct my attention to the error, which I will correct. I take this time to publicly say thanks to My Regimental Sergeant Major in the cadet force: Dr. Alwayn Leacock. As simple and as infrequent as Dr. Leacock took the time to hold me grammatically accountable, I have used his actions, to developed an accountability on my own; and in the process I recently developed a love and an appreciation for a practice I once hated: that is the practice of consistently reading over my writing until I am totally satisfied with the end product.

Previously; I only took the time to read over random paragraphs, and edit the particular paragraph. In my lazy mind the odds were with me but they were against me. For I learn that there is only one way to edit or to proof read writing and that is to take it line by line and when you are finished do it again and again. As a result, I can see my writing is getting better every day but I have a long way to go.