When I got to the park, I met up with, some of my friends from the Kingstown S.D.A church. Present was Glenroy Providence, a beloved and trusted friend, a man who goes the extra mile for his friends. Glenroy is a skilled Plumber and Electrician, there was Jerry Cuffy, my little brother, who had just completed his secondary education and found employment with Glenroy, while he make up his mind on what he wanted to do, their was my good friend: Leroy Richardson AKA Tom. Tom is also a beloved and trusted friend. Tom and I often sit for hours in discussion, addressing many subject, Tom and I are like minds; and there was Tom's wife Rosie, my then partner in crime. This group was a part of the big happy family that were present when I arrived at the convention; a part of the family I had at the S.D.A church in Kingstown.
While I was greeting my friends who had assembled in the vicinity of the main gate at the sporting facility, I noticed, Rosie was holding a young baby. Rosie's maternal instinct was sharp as a result she could always be seen, with other people's babies. While I greeted my other friends, I turn to Rosie and I said in the Vincentian dialect: "Rosie, way yo na go mek yo own, every time I turn, yo wit some body Chile" (Rosie you should make another child, each time I see you, you are caring for someone else's child) we all laugh and that round of laughter marked the official breaking of the ice among friends. That seamlessly joke, was an indication that it was going to be a day of clean fun, lots of laughter that will climax with a cook at someone's home.
After the good laugh has die down, Rosie said, to me, this is not a stranger baby, this is my sister Jemma's baby. I said surprisingly: I did not know Jemma was pregnant. I was shocked at this news, for Jemma and I had started a relationship some months earlier; unfortunately, for the continuation for the relationship, she suddenly disappeared into thin air. At that time cell phone was not popular. I called Jemma's home many times; however, she was never at home to take the call, at lease that was what I was told. I visited her home to speak to her and each time I went by Jemma's home, her siblings who I were friends with, often told me, she was not at home.
I knew something was amiss, it was impossible for Jemma to disappeared on so small an island without her disappearance making the news, as a missing person or even making the public service announcement. I concluded that Jemma did not want to continue in the relationship with me, and less, I be considered a stalker; I stopped calling and I stop going by to see her. The young lady went through a lot of work to avoid running into me on the streets and she was successful at it.
I am not one who has a big interest in other people's babies, because I did not have the parental eyes as yet and therefore; I failed to see the beauty in babies that most people saw. As a result, I was often forced to lie to make the parent feel good; and I don't like lying. At that time of my life, my parental eyes were dull. I was still shock by the news, I asked Rosie when was that child born, she told me the date, and I did the quick math in my head. Rosie looking into my eyes saw the wheels of my mind turning over in my head; Then I said to Rosie in a commanding tone of voice, "let me see the child!" immediately Rosie became defensive, turn the child away from me and said, why do you want to see the girl's child.
I insisted and we had a little friendly struggle, Rosie preventing me from seeing the baby and I insisting on seeing the baby. It was then Tom, Rosie's husband intervened; he say "Rosie, you let all body, even strangers see, hold and play with the child, why you don't want Palmer to see the child? Let the man see the child!" Tom instructed, Rose reply to her husband, "Tom you know what Palmer gives already" she was speaking about my habit of heckling people, making jokes out of serious things. Rosie knew it was not the place, the time or the subject to get me joking about the baby and its birth. The baby's mother did not tell her family who the baby's father was. So for Rosie this was a sensitive matter.
Upon her husband's council, Rosie handed over the baby to me, when I took that baby into my arms, I immediately felt a deep connection to the baby that lay in my arms. I looked at the child with searching eyes, and I saw myself in the baby that looked back at me, with searching eyes also. As if to be saying who is this strange man, whom I am seeing for the first time, who make me feel so safe and secure.
This baby was beautiful child; at that stage, of my life, I could quickly see the beauty in babies born to my siblings, and it matters not what others opinion about their children were. On that day, I held in my hand and I looked upon the face of so beautiful a little baby. The timeline of the birth of this child matched perfectly the timeline of that period of time, I was involved in a relationship, with the baby's mother. All I knew was, this was no coincidence.
I forgot where I was, as a matter of fact, I did not care I was in a church setting, and the service was going on; Immediately and unashamed I declared: "Rosie this is my child!" I attracted the attention and to the embarrassment of some of the church people around. My admission to being the unmarred father of a new born baby, was a public admission of fornication; an offense worthy of being thrown out of the church (Dis-fellowship). This outrageous declaration put Rosie on the defensive. As a result Rosemarie, fire back by saying, If is baby you want, why don'y you go, find a woman, and make a baby.
The others including Rosie laughed off the awkward encounter as one of my ruses, however, I was not joking around. Rose was totally unaware of the relationship I had with her younger sister and she thought I was joking also. However, claiming to be the baby's daddy was something Rosie could play along with. But Rosie's husband Tom, who also laughed the whole incident off, realized I was not Joking; approached me about the matter later.
All of my renewed efforts to see and speak to Jemma was unsuccessful. Now it was not about my disappointment and or my feelings, and it was not about Jemma's feelings either; now, their was an innocent child that was the central part of the picture and we must put our petty feelings aside and make as our priority, the welfare of this new born child; thus forget about our personal feelings and opinion.
One day I was at Daddy Thomas' shop, which was located on Hospital Road. The Hospital Road; marked the beginning or the started of the Road to Leeward. Daddy's shop was on opposite side of the hospital, the narrow street immediately in front of the main entrance of the Kingstown General Hospital, which was later renamed the Milton Cato Memorial Hospital; separated the ever popular shop from the health facility. While there, I glimpsed someone, out of my peripheral vision; I noticed the person made a sharp about turn and began to briskly walk back into the Accident and Emergency section if the Hospital. I quickly turned to see who the person was. It was then I saw Jemma trying desperately to avoid me, by running in the direction from which she was coming.
I wanted her to know that I saw her, and she is not going to avoid me this easily. So I shouted her name using the power of my projected voice; there were a lot of questions I need answer for. The primary of which was, who was the father of the child she recently give birth too. I wanted the evasive young lady to know that this time around, she was not getting away without answering a few questions, and I wanted the answers now! not tomorrow, not next week but now! I immediately made my way onto the hospital premises, and over to where Jemma was. On inquiry, I was told; Jemma was sick and she came to the A&E for medical help.
I then said to her, I did not know you recently had a child; she said yes, I have a little girl. By this time the baby was about three or four months old. without wasting any time, I got straight to the point and I asked her who is the father of the little girl. She looked at me confused and embarrassed, not expecting the question to be the focal point of our meeting after just over a year of not seeing each other. Jemma said "Palmer you are the father of my daughter." I was not shocked and I was not surprised at her answer. I smile at her to put her at ease. I can see the stress she was under. So why did you avoided me all this time and why you did not let me know you were pregnant? I asked, I wanted answers.
Jemma looker at me and she said, "how would it have looked, after that short time in relationship with you, I just declared to you that I am pregnant and you are the baby's father". she pause for a brief moment, to give me some time to think, upset at the situation she had been trapped in she continued; "I knew the first thing you were going to say was; the child was not your, I was pregnant before we started talking and I had sex with you because I wanted to give you a 6 for a 9 (I wanted you to father another man's child)." she pause and looked for some type of reaction from me; like you were wrong, I would not have said that. But the truth that fell from her lips made me num. Then she broke the silence once again, and said: "I could not have deal with that type of stress. So I took it upon myself to avoid the stress, by ending the relationship and deal with the pregnancy and the baby on my own; and that was what I did."
After listening carefully to what Jemma said, I wanted to say you were wrong Jemma, to smooth it over. But the only thing that would have done was to make me look like the good guy and give the stressed out mother, the impression that she made the wrong decision.
This was a serious issue and I could not find it within me to lie to the mother of my child. However, after honestly searched my heart; I honestly could not have taken the easy way out, not even to make myself look good. I looked at Jemma and I said to her Jemma, you are correct, under the circumstances I would have believed that was the case.
Then Jemma said Palmer if you have doubts you can do a paternity test to verify. I said Jemma, I do not need a paternity test to know the baby is my child. As soon as, I held her in my arms, I knew she is my daughter. Right there and then Jemma and I worked out how we were going to proceed from there and what was my responsibilities to my daughter. I was happy to be a part of the child's life and I wanted to play a significant role in her life. On hindsight, I did not live up to my potential as a father. I truly fell short.
Even if I have not been the best father that Jemisha deserved, she has always been wonderful daughter. We were connected, so much so that whatever or whenever, or if I tell Jemisha she can jump and touch the moon, she always does. It may not happen in her first try, but bet your last dollar, that she will never stop trying until she touched the moon. Any time her mother and or Jemisha's Grand mother had a concern with her, one conversations from me was all that was needed to have her reformed her ways. I will forever love Jemisha. Her strength, determination, and fighting spirit always reminds me of me
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